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Stalin and ape-warriors

Nothing should surprise me anymore. This is one of the strangest stories I have come across about the mass-murderer Josef Stalin: He was trying to cross humans with apes to create a "super-warrior" class!

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

In 1926 the Politburo in Moscow passed the request to the Academy of Science with the order to build a "living war machine". The order came at a time when the Soviet Union was embarked on a crusade to turn the world upside down, with social engineering seen as a partner to industrialisation: new cities, architecture, and a new egalitarian society were being created. [Did ya notice the little "positive twist" by the author of the article? --Ed.]

And, there's a Cuba angle, to boot!

11 comments to Stalin and ape-warriors

  • Alberto Quiroga

    Proves "socialism" is just political monkey business. We don't call these people "looney leftists" for nothing, don't we? Hmmm-wait a minute...could el mico putumayo be an escapee from one of old Joe's experimental labs? If so, it confirms the experiment was a TOTAL failure.

    Oh, before I forget - I remember seeing this Tarzan movie as a kid - I think the title was "Tarzan's Jungle Adventure." It's been shown on TV here and there too. Tarzan takes on nazi invaders and wipes them out with the help of the local tribesmen, Jane, Cheetah, his other animal friends, etc. The movie ends as Cheetah starts monkeying around with the nazis' radio transmitter, howling and screeching through the mike...the scene cuts to Berlin, where nazi officers are gathered around the receiver, awaiting word from their stormtroopers in the jungle; they hear Cheeta's screeching and howling - one of the officers turns, says gravely, "It is the f?hrer!," as the others spring to their feet, click heels, give the nazi salute, and screech "heil hitler!"

    Kriiiga! Bundolo!

  • George L. Moneo

    Timba! Ungawa!

  • Miami Harold

    That cross-breeding experiment actually worked.
    Have you SEEN Russian women?

  • So, what's the Cuba angle?

    That Beardo is the result of the experiment?

  • George L. Moneo

    Aelfheld, LOL! No here is the Cuba angle:

    A final attempt to persuade a Cuban heiress to lend some of her monkeys for further experiments reached American ears, with the New York Times reporting on the story, and she dropped the idea amid the uproar.

  • Isaac

    Better known in Cuba by his nickname Barney, from the cartoon show The Flinstones.

  • Crossing species to create super-warriors? One cannot help but be reminded of...

    "Do you know how the Orcs first came to be? They were Elves once...taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated, a twisted and horrible form of life. And now...perfected: my fighting Uruk-Hai!"

    --Christopher Lee as Saruman

  • I have sighted specimens of that ape frequently at ManCamp.

  • Julio C. Zangroniz

    Head Hog,
    If you were looking in my direction, or merely thinking of me, as you typed that, I must say that... I truly resemble that remark!
    Are you bringing the Monstruous Snipe Rifle to Nochebuena?
    Inquiring minds... want to know!

  • LC Wes, Imperial Mohel

    Here's the money quote from the article:

    According to Moscow newspapers, Stalin told the scientist: "I want a new invincible human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."

    ...Aren't those qualities already a prerequisite for living under Communism?

    Give Uncle Joe credit: even he knew that life in the Soviet Union sucked.