...you are a malcontent descendant bastard of a well to do father and not so well to do mother. You despise that father as you would always be the bastard son. You don't do so well in school because of the tremendous chip on your shoulder, yet, nonetheless, you are such a good liar that you are able to pull the wool over everyone's eyes and you graduate, ultimately, from Law school.

Your hatred for your father's class, however, burns within you and radicalizes you. For you, it's not your inabilities or limitations that prevent you from prospering in every sense of the word - economically, spiritually, mentally. It must be "The Man's" fault. So you put together a small group of like minded individuals - again using that power of deception you so cherish - and you mount a coup that fails miserably because you are by no means a military strategist.

You are incarcerated for your failed attempt and what saves you from the firing squad are the pleas from the very same class of people that you abhor.

Despite your miserable failure, however, your hatred for the elite and society in general compels you to further your radical agenda and you continue your "military" struggle but with really no military behind it. That penchant for prevarication makes you one hell of a public relations genius.

You will use that public relations genius your entire lifetime, from the very onset of your struggle - which you so appropriate call a "revolution" - where you enlist the support of rubes, the ideologically feeble-minded and other malcontents such as myopic New York Times "journalists" and find you have struck gold. Pretty soon you have the entire world's eyes upon you, with a good portion of same buying your snake oil.

You sell so much ideological snake oil that you do, ultimately, manage to get "The Man", and topple his government. And from the onset of your new "leadership" you make mountains of promises and make yourself out to be the savior of mankind.

But your hatred, paranoia, inferiority complex, single-mindedness and general lack of morals and sanity lead you to believe that the only way you can save mankind is by destroying it. Thus you execute prisoners of "war' without prejudice, torture their families, and generally devastate the lives of all whom you believe do not subscribe to all of your radical ideas. You murder grandfathers, fathers, sons and brothers. You incarcerate thousands upon thousands of your countrymen. You destroy generations of entire families.

The murder and mayhem not being enough to fulfill your lust for power, you usurp everything from anyone. You steal successful business begun and maintained by the sweat of hard work and sacrifice of generations. You usurp the homes of families whose descendants built with their own hands and sweat. You pose brother against brother, sister against sister, mother and father against offspring. You hijack the basic human rights of every single citizen of your country. All in the name of that "revolution" powered by your inadequacies.

Death and blood being nothing but a consequence for you, you align yourself with the vilest most murderous and evilest of regimes. Where you sell the soul of the culture of your country for bodyguards and medium range nuclear missiles. At one point, you believe, in your egomaniacal way, that you hold the keys to nuclear armageddon, only to be sold out by the partners you now cant get rid of.

Through the years you are responsible for the destruction of your country's culture - from common decency and morality, to respect and even language. You are also responsible for the death of untold thousands, for untold suffering, for the separation of millions of families and for infinite deprivation. You are also responsible for making every single one of your countrymen a slave to you, your dellusional ideas and for the maintenance of your power.

And for all of the above, you yourself deny any responsibility. You choose your scapegoats and point fingers of blame everywhere, despite the solid evidence all around you and which is your life's opus.

After decades and decades and decades of iron handed rule, you find yourself now old and tired and ailing. You can barely muster a coherent thought. You can barely get out of bed, much less walk. Had you not wasted all of your mirrors, you'd find yourself to be a doddering old fool, with accomplishment that are anything but, the blood of millions on your hands, your body slowly and painfully rotting and a bag to collect your feces hung on your hip.

If today is your birthday, for once in your life do something for some one other than yourself: please, make sure that today is your last.

Happy birthday, fidel. You fucking evil mother fucking bastard. Do the world a favor and fucking die already, they're waiting to throw you a party in hell.