As expected, the Holy Father has found time in his very tight schedule to meet with the greatest crusader for human rights on earth, his excellency King Fidel, close friend and confidant of the saintly muslim leader Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Whether or not this meeting marks the first step towards the canonization of the Maximum Leader and whether or not the Iranian president would join the party remains a matter of speculation.
In his “Reflections” published in the award-winning newspaper of record, Granma, Fidel waxed eloquently on his own efforts to save the planet from poverty, disease, hunger, and injustice. In his own inimitable Gongoresque style, so reminiscent of the best prose from Spain’s Golden Age, the ever-self-effacing Fidel said:
“With great pleasure I will greet His Excellency Pope Benedict XVI on Wednesday, as I did with John Paul II, a man whose contact with the children and the humble people of this nation elicited unanimous feelings of affection.”He also called for a “union” between marxists and Christians, saying that “with their religious and political beliefs,” they should “struggle for justice and peace among all human beings.”In addition, he expressed his deep concern for the fate of humankind, lamenting the fact that “a growing number of people on earth lack housing, bread, water, education, and employment, while the riches of the Earth are squandered and wasted on weapons and fratricidal wars.” Wags, of course, immediately pointed out that his description of the entire world seems to be based on the situation faced by the Cuban people as a result of his leadership.Unofficial reports also seem to confirm the future saint Fidel’s first miracle: the instantaneous disappearance from the island of the Ladies in White and all dissidents. Speculation runs wild about their teleportation to Miami, where they allegedly appeared at the Versailles restaurant on Calle Ocho, begging for Cuban sandwiches.Read the entire heartbreaking Kafkaesque report here, in Spanish.