Kenneth David Peterson, a.k.a, "Jesus Christ"

The New York Daily News has yet to report the death of Oswaldo Paya, but it might get a Pulitzer Prize anyway, for letting us all know that the end of the world is nearer than we thought.

(And you do have to admit that while "Jesus":  may certainly know how to identify the Antichrist and find the right hair stylist for that perfect messianic look, he could nonetheless greatly benefit from a few more forty-day fasts in the desert. And maybe a workshop on turning crowbars into whips might help him too.)

Crowbar-wielding 'Jesus' threatens 'Antichrist' neighbor in Florida

Kenneth David Peterson, 51, has been charged with stalking, aggravated assault and is being held on $150,000 bond.

A Florida man who claims to be Jesus Christ opted not to turn the other cheek, and instead menaced his neighbor with a crowbar, police said.

Kenneth David Peterson, 51, said the neighbor in question was, conveniently, the Antichrist, WKMG-TV reported.

Cops in Palm Bay investigated a report of a disturbance between the two men Thursday. When they arrived, Peterson was reportedly professing to be Jesus and threatening the neighbor with the crowbar and another weapon.

He was charged with stalking and aggravated assault, and is being held at the Brevard County Jail on $150,000 bond.  Police have made nine visits to his home since February on reports that he was damaging a neighbor’s property, according to WKMG.