As we go to press polls show America’s largest swing state in a dead head between Romney and Obama. Florida has 29 electoral votes and the third largest “Hispanic” population in America. Normally this means a cakewalk for any Democrat.
But whoops! Turns out that about a third of these Florida Hispanics (Cuban-Americans) are actually so—as in Americans whose ancestors hail almost exclusively from Europe’s Iberian Peninsula known as Hispania by the Romans. So as a broken clock is right twice a day, the term “Hispanic” as used by the mainstream media can actually be correct about 1/1000 of the time. (i.e. when it refers to Cuban-Americans.)
“Cuba Policy isn’t made in Washington,” once griped Bill Press in a CNN column. “It’s made in Miami by former Batista supporters who think they can reverse history!”
“Bush’s defense of the (Cuban) embargo serves a family voting bloc and little else!” griped Kathleen Parker in a column years ago.
“A small number of powerful exiles in South Florida cow our politicians into keeping the crazy Cuban policy!” once griped media baron Al Neuharth in USA Today.
All this takes talent, amigos. Around our domino tables we snicker derisively at those bumbling Trilateralists. Between sips of our mojitos we guffaw and slap our thighs at the incompetence of the Bilderbergers and Rothschilds. We Cuban-Americans are the Illuminati to beat all Illuminati, the slickest of the slick. We watch “Godfather II” and snort scornfully. That was a chump operation Mikey Corleone pulled on Nevada Senator Geary with that dead prostitute. We woulda had him in our pocket for half the trouble.
We watch “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” and direct our boos and hisses at Jimmy Stewart. What a fuddy-duddy.
Cuban-Americans have managed to get Bill Buckley and Gore Vidal, Chris Dodd and Larry Craig, The Brookings Institution and the Cato Institute, the Wall Street Journal and The Nation, The U.S. Communist Party and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce– all on the same side of an issue. All of the above have come out publicly against the so-called Cuban embargo. All blame it on the “politically powerful” and “well-heeled” Cuban-American lobby.
Thank you kindly.