And so 2013 is starting out pretty good for the Cuban regime: [r]aul gets to be the president of something called CELAC, Chavismo seems to be entrenched in Venezuela, guaranteeing the flow of oil subsidies to the island prison, Obama starts his second term, nominating John Kerry for State and brining [c]astro loving Chuck Hagel out of retirement to head the DOD, and Jeff Flake, an Arizona Republican with a soft spot for the totalitarian regime gets himself elected to the Senate. $weet.

They have one problem, though: New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez, who is staunchly anti-[c]astro,  is set to take over the chair of the powerful Senate Foreign Relations Committee. Any attempts to ease US Cuba policy by the regime’s friends in congress would have to go through Bobby. The Senator would also lobby the President against any pro-Cuban regime advice from the Kerry/Hagel brain trust, (God help us.)

But, as “luck” would have it, Senator Menendez is embroiled in a salacious sex scandal involving anonymous tipsters, and hookers and booze and private planes that reads like a day in the life of Charlie Sheen.

Hmmm. These ruthless, totalitarian dictatorships always get “lucky.” Their enemies mysteriously vanish, die of mysterious illnesses or automobile accidents, decide to go into exile, or become common criminals. Sometimes, they even get so caught up in rumors and innuendo and scandal and their careers are ruined. It’s just unbelievable how “lucky” they get, isn’t it?