Please allow me to introduce myself….
Fidel Castro shows up to "vote" in Havana
Yes, he did. And he babbled nonsense for about a half hour, jabbering about this and that.
The world's foremost expert on every subject hectored the crowd, as in olden days, insisting that he knew what was best for all of them.
Looking gaunt and stooped, he insisted he was not at all giving a street performance of The Hunchback of Notre Dame or The Phantom of the Opera.
Instead, once he cast his "ballot" and the cameras were turned off, he broke into song, in heavily-accented English, providing all at the "polling" place with a stirring rendition of Mick Jagger's and Keith Richards's "Sympathy for the Devil".
His bodyguards provided the necessary percussion by banging on the heads of some dissidents with aluminum baseball bats.
Some eyewitnesses said that the most moving part of his performance -- which brought tears to the eyes of some -- came when he sang the following lines:
Plisss tumí chú (Pleased to meet you)
Jó yúges mainein (Hope you guess my name)
Bo guaz poslin chu (But what's puzzling you)
Iss di neíchu omay gein (Is the nature of my game)
Other eyewitnesses disagreed, saying they were most moved by one line alone:
Juquil di Que-ne-di? (Who killed the Kennedys?)
Turning his severely hunched back to the crowd, Fidel Castro sang the closing chorus of this once-forbidden song, as he was carried into his bulletproof limousine:
Telmi beibi, guass mainein (Tell me, baby, what's my name)
Telmi, suiti, guass mainein (Tell me, sweetie, what's my name)
Uuuu-jú-jú (Ooo, who, who)
O-Ché-á! (Oh, yeah)