Talk about a slippery slope in the redefinition of marriage … Holy smokes… Oooooooh, Mildred…. hold on to your teeth….
A 31-year-old church organist from Pennsylvania is getting married to a roller coaster.
But will this woman’s new husband be covered under her insurance plan? If she dies before he does (quite likely, since he is inanimate), will he get her Social Security benefits? Or, if he decides to become a polygamist –as will soon be possible, now that marriage has been redefined — will all his wives ride him together? Or… what if he decides he likes bestiality? Will animals be allowed to ride him? And… though she now claims that she doesn’t mind sharing him with others, could his wife at some point grow jealous enough to accuse him of adultery for allowing the public to ride him?
A suggestion for those who have invited Mariela Castro to Philadelphia: maybe a day trip to this amusement park is in order? After all, there are no roller coasters in her father’s Kingdom, and, as a sexologist, she really needs to check out this healthy, natural manifestation of sexual attraction and self-fulfillment.
from The Telegraph (UK):
Woman getting married to fairground ride
Amy Wolfe, a US church organist who claims to have objectum sexuality, a condition that makes sufferers attracted to inanimate objects, plans to marry a magic carpet fairground ride.
This follows a “courtship” of 3,000 rides over ten years with the 80ft gondola ride called 1001 Nachts.
Miss Wolfe, 33, from Pennsylvania, will change her surname to Weber after the manufacturer of the ride she travels 160 miles to visit 10 times per year, according to reports
“I love him as much as women love their husbands and know we’ll be together forever,” she said.
Miss Wolfe first fell for the ride when she was 13: “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally.
“I wasn’t freaked out, as it just felt so natural, but I didn’t tell anyone about it because I knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ to have feelings for a fairground ride.”
Ten years later, she decided to go back to Knoebels Amusement Park to declare her love. She now sleeps with a picture of the ride on her ceiling and carries its spare nuts and bolts around to feel closer to it.
She claims to believe they share a fulfilling physical and spiritual relationship and does not get jealous when other people ride it.
Although she faces discrimination from employers, most of her family and friends have been supportive. “I’m not hurting anyone and I can’t help it,” she said. “It’s a part of who I am.”