Breaking News: Castro hangs himself !
But not THAT Castro, Fidel. Or THAT other Castro, Raul.
*&^%$#@! The suicide was committed by Ariel Castro, the Cleveland "monster" who enslaved three women.
Never mind those two other aforementioned Castros who enslaved millions and killed hundreds of thousands.
You will never find them referred to as "monsters". Nor will you ever find them hanging from a noose crafted by their own hands.
Well, maybe.... if they were to find themselves cornered, judged, and condemned, like their pale reflection, Ariel, maybe they'd do themselves in, just like their hero, Adolph.
Anyway, here is the scoop, from the inimitable Daily Mail, purveyor of all news gross and prurient:
BREAKING NEWS: Castro dead after hanging himself
Ariel Castro, the Cleveland kidnapper who held three women against their will for a decade, is dead after hanging himself in his prison cell Tuesday night.
Castro, 53, was found about 9.20pm at Correctional Reception Center in Orient, Ohio. He had served only one month of his prison term, which sent him away for life, plus 1,000 years.
Castro was being housed alone in an isolation unit for his protection, prison officials said.
Prison regulations dictate that guards had to check on him every 30 minutes. Officials say he hanged himself during a break between inspections.