Stop the presses! Breaking news from Castrogonia! Most important news event of the decade!
Yes! This is what really matters. Quadruplets born to a cow in Picadura, somewhere east of Havana. And one of the calves is blessed with both male and female genitalia.
We should all be so thankful for the Associated Press and ABC News for their coverage of the most important events in Castrogonia.
But we can also wag our collective finger at the renowned news bureau and scold it for not crediting the great Fidel Castro, whose untiring efforts in the genetic engineering of cattle led to this world-shaking event. Can anyone doubt that the Maximum Leader's dream has finally come to fruition? All those years of trying to produce super-cattle. All the experiments. All the promises. All of this realized in one freakish instant! Imagine: cows that multiply fourfold! Hot dawgie, yee hah! Before long, Castrogonia will be exporting cattle, along with beef and dairy products. Never mind that the natives on the island will still be eating ground "beef" that is really 85% tofu or that they won't have access to milk, cheese, and butter: those ingrates don't deserve to enjoy the success of their visionary leader's experiments. They are all unworthy louts, totally lacking in civility.
And we can also censure the Associated Press for not crediting Mariela Castro with the birth of a hermaphrodite calf. Mariela, daughter of current "President" Raul Castro, the world's foremost activist for gay-bisexual-transgendered rights, has devoted her entire adult life to the promotion of total sexual freedom, and nothing confirms her advocacy more resoundingly than that fourth hermaphrodite calf. As everyone knows, hermaphroditism is the ultimate utopian destiny of all human beings, and the glorious future that awaits all of our progeny, along with communist collectivism.
No more heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian, or transgendered states of being. Everyone will be fully and procreatively bisexual/intersexual, as free to screw as to be screwed, and as fully capable of siring quadruplets as of giving birth to them, and all utterly beholden to the state that guarantees them free indoctrination in collectivist ethics and free medical care so they can work their asses off for the benefit of the privileged few that run that benevolent utopia.
Shame on the Associated Press and ABC News (USA). Such negligent reporting, despite their stellar record of focusing on what really matters in Castrogonia.
Holy Cow! Bovine Quadruplets Born on Cuba Farm
PICADURA, Cuba September 20, 2013 (AP)
Holy Cow! A Cuban dairy farmer says one of his cows has given birth to four healthy calves, a highly rare occurrence.
Veterinarian Andres Rodriguez runs state-owned dairy No. 128 in Picadura, about 44 miles (70 kilometers) east of Havana.
He says he was shocked when he went to a help a 3-year-old cow named Aleli give birth Aug. 29. She'd already had one calf when he got to her. Then another was born. And another, and another.
Three are male, and one a hermaphrodite.
According to U.S. and European experts, the odds of delivering live quadruplet calves are one in 11 million births. If all are the same gender, the odds rise to one in 179 million. No numbers could be found for a quad birth including a hermaphrodite.