Of True Scotsmen and Real Conservatives
A man was standing off the edge of the Golden Gate Bridge, obviously about to jump.
A passer-by notices the jumper and quickly decides to try and talk him down off the ledge, so he tries talking to the jumper.
"Sir, are you an American?" to which the jumper answers "yes."
“Where are you from?” – asks the Good Samaritan. “I am from Louisiana”, responds the distraught man.
“Great! What an incredible coincidence! I am from the South as well!” – says the Good Samaritan.
The passer-by continues to engage the jumper.
"What is your political affiliation, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian or Independent?"
The jumper looks back over his shoulder and answers "I am a Republican."
"Me too, that’s amazing!” – the Good Samaritan continues, as he slowly moves closer to the jumper. “What kind of Republican are you: Conservative, small “l” libertarian, paleoconservative, Krystolian neoconservative, or Country Club Republican?"
The jumper seems to be more engaged in the conversation at this point, visibly relaxing and responds: “I am a Conservative.”
The Good Samaritan gets excited . He is now within arm’s reach of the would-be jumper.
"Me too! Is this a small world or what?”
The would-be jumper smiles and sits on the handrail, the tension visibly leaving his shoulders.
The Good Samaritan finally reaches the man, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is, we can sort this out” – he tells the jumper.
“Are you a Social Conservative, or a Fiscal Conservative?" – asks the Good Samaritan, continuing to engage the jumper as he sits beside him on the handrail..
The man on the edge, now obviously more relaxed answers "Social Conservative" as a smile creeps across his face.
Now, the Good Samaritan with the jumper’s shoulder firmly in his grasp says "Me too! What kind of Social Conservative. Are you a Christian Right, or a Compassionate Conservative?"
The guy on the bridge says: "Compassionate Conservative", and with that the Good Samaritan, becoming very angry, screams: "Die liberal!" and pushes him off the bridge.
OK... maybe not so much a joke as possibly the core reason why Democrats will continue to win elections and mold the nation's future for years to come. The right has no greater enemy than the right.