From Puttanesca to Putin Asco
Bad sauce, any way you look at it.
Thank God for Italian food.
It's one of the finest cuisines on earth. And one of their greatest sauces is puttanesca, which contains the basic ingredients of tomatoes, olive oil, olives, capers, and garlic. There are variations, but the basic recipe comes from southern Italy, and -- as the name suggests -- it has some connection to whores. (Italian for prostitute = puttana). One version of the history of the recipe traces it to a bordello. Another version traces it to desperate late-night customers at a restaurant who were very hungry and begged the owner to cook up whatever was left in his kitchen: "Facci una puttanata qualsiasi" (Make any kind of garbage).
Either way, the sauce is linked to whores.
Puttanesca sauce is delightful. But Putin is not. Neither are the comic-book villains he is meeting.
Vladimir Putin, Maximum Leader of Grand Putinia, has kicked off his Latrine-Palooza tour in Castrogonia. Could there be any better premiere venue for him?
Photo opportunities with Raul, Fidel, and soldiers dressed as background dancers at the Radio City Music Hall Christmas extravaganza.
The Castro dynasty is disgusting. Putin is disgusting. Latrine America is disgusting. Revolting. Nauseating.
The Spanish word "asco" encapsulates all three English words: "disgusting," "revolting," "nauseating."
So, why not refer to this Putin junket as the "Putin Asco" tour?
Everyhing about it is nauseating, and reeking with the stench of whoredom, on account of the parties involved, and their ethics.
I may not be able to enjoy puttanesca sauce ever again. Damn.