From Puttanesca to Putin Asco

Bad sauce, any way you look at it. 

Thank God for Italian food.

It’s one of the finest cuisines on earth.  And one of their greatest sauces is puttanesca, which contains the basic ingredients of tomatoes, olive oil, olives, capers, and garlic.  There are variations, but the basic recipe comes from southern Italy, and — as the name suggests — it has some connection to whores. (Italian for prostitute = puttana).  One version of the history of the recipe traces it to a bordello.   Another version traces it to desperate late-night customers at a restaurant who were very hungry and begged the owner to cook up whatever was left in his kitchen:    “Facci una puttanata qualsiasi”  (Make any kind of garbage).


Either way, the sauce is linked to whores.

Puttanesca sauce is delightful.  But Putin is not.  Neither are the comic-book villains he is meeting.

Vladimir Putin, Maximum Leader of Grand Putinia,  has kicked off his Latrine-Palooza tour in Castrogonia.  Could there be any better premiere venue for him?

Si, si… por favor…. devuelvenos esos cohetes….carajo… que todavia me quedan las ganas de zumbarselos a Nueva York y Washington….

Photo opportunities with Raul, Fidel, and soldiers dressed as background dancers at the Radio City Music Hall Christmas extravaganza.

The Castro dynasty is disgusting.  Putin is disgusting.  Latrine America is disgusting.   Revolting.  Nauseating.

The Spanish word “asco” encapsulates all three English words: “disgusting,” “revolting,” “nauseating.”

No…no…no es asi, coño…el cobra cincuenta dolares por cada rendezvous, y yo cobro cincuenta millones….y encima de ese precio, tienen que cambiarme las sabanas y pintarme las uñas como me de la gana….y….por favor, yo no me meto con delfines… de ninguna manera.

So, why not refer to this Putin junket as the “Putin Asco” tour?

Everyhing about it is nauseating, and reeking with the stench of whoredom, on account of the parties involved, and their ethics.

Asqueroso!   Aaaaaaaasquerosisiiiimo!

I may not be able to enjoy puttanesca sauce ever again.  Damn.




Be careful or I eat you… and bring leftovers in dog bag to Obama….


4 thoughts on “From Puttanesca to Putin Asco

  1. Love the “art” chez Fidel. Such taste (Dalia’s, obviously; Fidel never cared about art, good or bad, except as a political tool). Here she is, with hubby and friends–Nicaragua’s pedophile president and his painfully trashy wife, the one who sat by while he molested her underage daughter and later “stood by her man” when said daughter denounced being sexually abused. Such lovely people:

    Dalia, btw, is supposedly 20 years younger than Fidel, which would make her about 67, yet she looks a good ten years older, and this is a relatively flattering photo. Here’s another one, with Argentina’s Cretina Kirchner:

    Any resemblance to a witches’ coven is purely coincidental.

  2. Don’t you just love that added touch of the guy diligently taking notes as Putin and Castro are talking?

  3. Honey, they’re both Major Historical Figures, at least in their own minds, so their every word must be saved for posterity.

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