Reports from Cuba’s Venezuela: Chávez eres (ta)tú

By Raul Stolk in Caracas Chronicles:

Chávez eres (ta)tú

Anabella and Barbara tackled the wackiness of Chavez’s fandom a few weeks ago with a brief post on the man’s signature and all new typeface.


Early this morning the good people of Aporrea announced there will be a cultural event held on the premises of OPSU (Oficina de Planificación del Sector Universitario) in downtown Caracas. This, of course, as part of the celebrations for Chavez’s 60th birthday.

Get this: the attendees will be able to get a tattoo of Eternal President’s face and signature for free. Yes, free! As they say in their post, “the activity is government sponsored and free.” (I sort of see a contradiction there, but hell…)

Here’s an idea: Since the event is to be held at a government building and sponsored by the taxpayers, why not give away tattoos of people’s ID cards instead? And hey, give ‘em the option of replacing their own pictures and signatures with the Commander’s.

Wait, wait, how about making this a requirement? Include a little barcode in there with all your information. The bar code would help folks standing in line waiting for their weekly rations. No need on bitting on a piece of plastic before getting shot, and … your body can be easily identified when found floating in the Guaire river!

Also, the embezzlement part of getting an ID card would be avoided, and they could save on materials. It would be absolutely coherent with chavista ideology and the distopian hellhole of a country Chavez wanted.