Every now and then the senile sociopathic megalomaniac Fidel Castro needs to prove to the world that he’s still alive and somewhat lucid.
So, this time he showed up at a cheese conference, and took part in the proceedings for four hours.
The European branch of his Ministry of Truth (Reuters) reported the event with breathless brevity. As always, the writers refer to the bloodthirsty dictator as “president,” and, as always, they focus exclusively on superficial details.
Why cheese? Why not?
The man is accustomed to doing whatever he wants. Perhaps he’s developed a fondness for cheese.
Perhaps he’s figured out how to turn his giant slave plantation into the world’s most important cheese-making nation.
Perhaps he simply said “quiero salir de paseo” (I want to go for a ride), and Raul sent him out for cheese.
Perhaps these 19 so-called “cheese makers” are really involved in the manufacture of colostomy bags, and the ex-tyrant had run out to get some more, but as soon as he arrived at the colostomy bag collective packaging plant, he felt compelled to berate them for four hours, as he used to do to the whole nation before he retired.
Reuters published photos and a video of the event. But it appears that the images have been doctored. Babulu’s crack investigative team managed to obtain an unretouched photo from a source who prefers to remain anonymous.
From Granma Euro-Lite (Reuters)
Fidel Castro visits cheese-makers, makes rare public appearance
Former Cuban President [we refuse to admit he ruled as a dictator] Fidel Castro, 88, visited 19 cheese masters for four hours on Friday in a rare trip outside his Havana home, official media reported on Saturday.
The photos showing the leader alive and well came out three days after his younger brother and current president, Raul Castro, announced a formal agreement with the United States on restoring diplomatic relations after a break of 54 years.
It was Fidel Castro’s first reported public appearance in three months. That previous encounter, with visiting Venezuelan students, was his first in more than a year.
Official media showed images of Castro seated at a panel in an auditorium at a research institute belonging to the Food Industry Ministry. He wore a white wind-breaker, a plaid shirt and gray pants [never let it be said that we skip the truly important details].
For a few more lines of text go HERE; for a video of this exciting world-shaking event, go HERE.
And for a sneak peek at one of the gourmet artisanal cheeses about to be produced by these 19 cheese makers take a look below. Coming soon to fine food stores throughout the United States:
Why, the old bastard looks just like…Franco–only more dull and vacant, not to mention hollow. His miserable father came from the same part of Spain as Franco (who was ALWAYS called a dictator, of course, like Batista). Another wonderful gift from our “mother” country–who’s been giving it to us good since 1492.
A cheese conference is perfect. He’s been a cheeseball his whole life, the epitome of “revolutionary” kitsch. “Hey, look, I never take off military fatigues, so I must be a great soldier, huh? And see how big my cigar is! And my beard must mean I’m mucho macho! And I huff and I puff like a champ!” Really, I should have been Swedish. They’re pretty boring, but at least they have some dignity.
Are Cubans ever going to be duly ashamed of how seriously, INCREDIBLY badly they fucked up? Don’t bet on it.
Fidel cheese should be like blue cheese, but with black mold in it, and called “Bola de Churre.”