Venezuelans find ways of cheating Maduro’s Miracle Diet

hambrevenezuela

Want to lose some weight?

Spend some time in Venezuela, where the entire nation is slimming down, very quickly.

This new socialist weight-loss regimen is being called “The Maduro Diet.”

It’s a miracle diet.

Weight loss is absolutely certain if you live like an ordinary Venezuelan.

Of course — as always — there are selfish cheaters who find ways of consuming more calories than their neighbors.

Cubans have been on a similar diet for decades, but due to remittances from “exiled” relatives abroad many of them are no longer forced to cheat as much as in previous years.

Since some of the cheating in the Cuban colony of Venenozuela involves the eating of endangered species, wait for the environmental warriors to call for the arrest and execution of  Venenozuela’s diet cheaters.

But don’t expect them to call for the removal of the Chavistas responsible for all the hunger, or for an end to the socialism that has caused this crisis.

Socialism is wonderful, after all.  Whatever goes wrong in a socialist states is always caused by foreigners and selfish natives.  Socialism itself is the best political-economic system ever devised by humans.

Yeah, sure….

flamingo-dream

From Fox News (surprise!)

Venezuelans killing flamingos, anteaters, and dogs to stave off hunger amid mounting food crisis

Venezuela’s food crisis has gotten so bad that people are apparently killing pink flamingos and other protected animals in order to stave off hunger.

While flamingo hunting is both illegal and uncommon in the South American nation, investigators from Zulia University in the northwestern Venezuelan city of Maracaibo have noted at least 20 cases of bird carcasses being discovered with their breasts and torsos removed.

And flamingos aren’t the only unusual animal to become a victim of Venezuela’s worsening food crisis. Remains of everything from dogs and cats to donkeys and even giant anteaters have been found in garbage bags at city dumps around the country.

“Sometimes we only find the animal’s heads, guts and legs. We used to see this very little in the past, but this practice is now out of control and on the rise,” Robert Linares, a Maracaibo waste disposal worker, told the Miami Herald. Linares added he recently found on the street the remains of a dog that had been skinned and dismembered.

Continue reading HERE. (Includes a nice graph showing the decline of calorie consumption in Venezuela)

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