I get to the office after having done a couple inspections this morning and as I sit down at the computer to write my reports, my cellphone rings. It’s my wife and she sounds a bit flustered.

“I’m Ok” she says. “But this guy just hit my car.”

“Where are you?” I ask.

“I’m at the bank parking…NO I AM NOT MOVING MY CAR FROM HERE!!” She’s screaming at someone over there.

I ask her what’s going on and as she tells me the guy that hit her is screaming at her. I can hear the guy yelling in the background. “Call the cops right now,” I say. “I’m on my way.”

I fly out of the office, get in my truck and haul ass to the bank. My mind is reeling. I’m thinking I’m gonna have to get into with this guy becuase not only did he hit my wife’s car, but he has the audacity to scream at her as well. In the middle of a parking lot.

I’m driving through the streets like a madman imagining this guy berating my wife and possibly even getting physical. I can picture myself getting there, jumping out of the truck and beating the guy to a pulp for disrepecting my wife. No one screams at my wife. No one. Not me, not her bosses or parents or irate clients. No one. I’m ready to pound on this guy.

Adrenaline is shooting through me when I get there. I throw the truck into a space, get out and quick time it towards where the guy is close to my wife’s car. She sees me and immediately comes to me. She is one pissed off woman. She starts to tell me about the guy screaming and all the nasty shit he’s just said to her and I just stop her. I calmly tell her “Wait here.”

I walk up to the guy and say “A ver, why don’t you scream at me?” fully expecting that I would have to bitch slap the guy in the middle of a parking lot.

There I am not 2 feet from the guy’s face, waiting for him to just utter one wrong little word before I take 12 years of martials arts training to him and he turns into syrup.

“Oye,” he says to me. “I’m sorry man. You know how sometimes you are having a bad day and…”

“That’s no excuse.” I tell him. “I heard you screaming at my wife over the phone. Why arent you screaming now?”

“I’m really really sorry about that. You know sometimes when you ‘re having a bad day and something like this happens you just lose it,” he says. I’m about to lose it if he gives me this excuse again.

“You disrespected my wife and she deserves an apology.”

He looks over to her, offers a meek sorry and by my wife’s eyes I see that it just isnt acceptable to her. She starts to lay into him and I just cut her short. “Relax babe,” I say. She walks away to the cops that have arrived by then.

I ask the guy if he has insurance. He says yes. “Ok. Ya esta bueno (thats enough). Let me just tell you one more thing,” I tell him. “Imagine if it were your wife and some guy hits her car and then starts screaming at her. You wouldnt like that at all would you? You need to learn a little fucking respect.”

I turned around and walked away. I really did want to beat the crap out of the guy, God knows he deserved it. But he just wasnt worth it. Why make a bad situation worse.

I’ll just let our attorney to the damage to the fucking asshole.

5 thoughts on “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”

  1. Yes, I think he would have been brutalized had you not shown up to save him from your wife. He should have thanked you, profusely. I’m glad everyone’s all right. Peace. –s

  2. I would have worn a dress, but I had to do roof inspections and..well..it’s no fun climbing ladders in a dress while all the workers gawk at your undies from below.

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