Urgent: Vote for Hugo Chavez

Hugo Chavez is running for Little Green Footballs’ 2005 Idiotarian Of The Year. He’s pulled into second place.

The Thug of Caracas and Master Perfect Latin American Idiot is closing in on the recognition he deserves. Vote for Hugo.

Do it for Venezuelans who have been denied the right to vote, vote this one little thing for them. After all, it was a Grand Idiotarian Emeritus, Jimmy Carter who sanctioned the electoral fraud that brought him to our attention in the first place.

In just one busy year, The Thug’s showed his skill by talking barroom sex-fantasy filth to The Hon. Condoleezza Rice, managed to make Vicente Fox look good by yelling foul names after him over a trade issue, got into a shoving match with the Hon. President of Peru, broke into every television station in Venezuela to read off the names of dissidents and reporters he didn’t like, broke into every television station just to sing strange songs, got drunk in the palace broke the furniture, faked his own death just so that he could watch the descamisados gather at his balcony and say how much they loved him, beat up his wife and wrecked her face, got a burping general elected governor of a Venezuelan state, put on a surgeon costume to play doctor on TV, promised a Brazilian samba school some money and never gave it, wasted billions on purchasing Argentine debt, gave away Venezuela’s oil, bought a bankrupt Uruguayan airline, told the poor that to be rich was evil while wearing a $2000 suit and a Rolex watch, defunded his country’s hospitals just to pay castro’s doctors – many of whom defected, leaving empty Kuban Koban buildings where the doctors were supposed to be stationed 24/7. He just confiscated the nation’s coffee, first with price controls that created shortages and just a few hours ago, with straight castroite confiscation, all the while he’s known to drink 20 cups of it a day. He rammed his oil company in the ground, he did nothing about the one and only road and bridge to the airport that is just about to collapse, cutting Caracas, a city of 6 million people, off from civilization. Not that he hadn’t been warned – and warned – and warned. He hugged and kissed Mugabe, hugged and kissed Zapatero, hugged and kissed the nuclear ayatollahs, hugged and kissed castro – many times. He called President Bush a ‘pendejo’ and (how’s this for intelligence?) also called President Bush Mister Danger, declared that the CIA is plotting to kill him, told Ted Koppel that Operation Balboa (a military exercise 20 years ago) was the U.S.’s plot to invade Venezuela, played the bongos in the Bronx, launched a Barbie doll of himself, gave ‘free’ oil to castro and the corrupt congressmen of the Bronx and Boston while his own countrymen starved. He let investment bankers make a killing in his country but killed all job creation and left most poor people welfare recipients. He yelled that Jews — er, the descendents of those who killed Christ the socialist revolutionary – rule the world. He gave passports to Colombian Marxist narcoterrorists and let them set up training camps in his country – one on the land of a rancher. He ordered swampland used by rare parrots and flamingos to be turned into a slash-and-burn collective farm growing ‘yuca’ the same crop Jim Jones’ cult grew. He did everything he could to destroy his country, kicking his friends and kissing his enemies.

It’s so gross. But he’s worked hard and he’s really earned the distinction of Idiotarian of the Year and deserves your vote.

Venezuelans are voting in this because it will be the only legitimate vote they will ever get. Some Lizards at Footballs site, here, don’t seem to understand why they should vote for this thug and want other candidates. But we do understand. Let’s help ’em out!

Vote for Hugo Chavez! The voting place, (and you don’t have to register), is here.

It’s critical that Hugo wins.

12 thoughts on “Urgent: Vote for Hugo Chavez”

  1. 2200 votes is alot to overcome to surpass Cindy. I have to overlook that technically Chavez doesn’t qualify as an idiotarian for the sake of the Venezualans. Idiotarians are people who are apologists and enablers not the evil itself. Anyway, if Cindy wins, I’m happy. If Chavez wins, I’m happy.

  2. I don’t know, but I think that Cindy is the biggest “Idiotarian” after all she is an American citizen, and she goes outside the country to denounce the USA, which should be considered treason. On the other hand Chavez, because of the wealth of his nation, and being the First Lady of Cuba it defenitely the most dangerous. I vote for most dangerous.

  3. I agree with Scott and Orlando. While I think Hugo is an idiot, Cindy takes the prize! I’ll vote for both.

  4. The desire to vote for Cindy Sheehan is understandable, but you’ve got to remember that the Jane Fondas are only the groupies of the Ho Chi Minhs. The Uncle Hos are always more dangerous than their enablers.

  5. No doubt about it… this was one of the *most difficult* decisions I’ve ever experienced at the ballot box.
    Every candidate was SO deserving!
    Then again, I consider each and every one of these candidates an Idiotarian already.
    JulioZ

  6. We need a design for the Award, don’t we? After all, if they’re going to run, albeit involuntarily, they should receive a Certificate with a picture of the Award, and a copy sent to the New York Times, plus a Certificate for the NYT for running third or fourth, whatever.

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