Chavez-basher wins election in Peru

Alan Garcia, ite la comistes, caballo!

That’s right, Alan Garcia, the once-icky former president of Peru, has come up with a winning formula for winning an election in Peru:

Beating the hell out of Hugo Chavez!

Oh mannnn this feels good!!!!!!!!!!!

That was pretty much Alan’s whole campaign. Beating Hugo Chavez. He wasn’t shy about it, either. He called Chavez a scoundrel, a ‘little dictator’ and a wife beater. He was so cool.

What does this say about Peru’s voters? It says they HATE Hugo Chavez. It says they HATE Evo Morales. It says they HATE fidel castro. It says you can be the ickiest guy on earth but so long as you beat the hell out of castro and Chavez, you have some redeeming value, enough to give your vote to, and keep Chavez’s disgusting pawn and viceroy out of power in Peru.

Alan Garcia, gross as he was, was smart enough to recognize that much. So now he’s president of Peru and Hugo Chavez is out on his ear. Garcia might even become a good president of Peru now that he’s got a second chance. All because he was willing to publicly beat the hell out of Hugo Chavez to please Peru’s voters.

castro is screaming and throwing things as we read this. He’s been dealt a nasty blow in this hemisphere, will see a corresponding loss of influence and Mexico may soon follow.

WE LOVE THE PERUVIANS!!!!!

Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!!! VIVA PERU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a Publius roundup here.

UPDATE: Cigar Mike Pancier has a fantastic suggestion: We all eat ceviche to celebrate the turning of the communist tide in Peru! Ummmmm, Peruvian ceviche!!!!

pervianceviche

Peruvian ceviche!
Source: Wikipedia, PROMPERU

Mike writes:

Thank God. A victory for Garcia is a loss for Chavez. Me thinks I will eat some seviche this week to celebrate.

11 thoughts on “Chavez-basher wins election in Peru”

  1. This is good news. Never the less, Alan Garcia is still a leftist. Also, as of 7:30PM EST, the results are not final. Hard as it is to believe, communists will steal an election!

  2. He is a leftist, but not like any we have seen before. He called Hugo Chavez ‘unmanly’ and ‘the little dictator.’ How do you think the two of them will get along after this? I hope Alan sends someone over to take out the trash in Caracas. It’s getting smelly and it’s long overdue. Alan hates Chavez and might be just the one to take care of business. The two of them hate each other, bigtime.

  3. Let’s hope he doesn’t commit the same mistakes as he did during his last presidency; otherwise, he will not complete his presidency. Though he’s the better of the two evils, time will tell how much has he changed for the better.

  4. Mora:
    Has Alan Garcia really changed? Remember this is the same politico who destroyed Peru’s economy back in the ’80s. Thumbs up for trashing the Chavez/Castro/Morales submarine (Ok OK mole in English) but I’ll take a wait and see stance before I throw flowers in his path

    xavier

  5. Yep, you’re all correct to be cautious. But this guy really has gone after Hugo Chavez with a brickbat. Cripes, he questioned the Thug’s masculinity! In my opinion, yes, he is going to try to do a good job this time. He was real young when he first won the Peruvian presidency. People change. People grow up. I think he is older and wiser now. Based on his statements, he sounds downright humble about his errors. He says it’s his fervent desire to not make a mess this time. Even if he does, though, he will leave after four years. That’s a lot better than having Ollanta Humala in power. Humala had no intention of ever leaving. He wanted to be dictator for life like fidel.

  6. Well, the only problem with the 2 stooges trying to create a Havana-Caracas Axis, attempting to ape (pun intended) their true spiritual mentors adolfo and benito, is there are no Germans in this axis, and it shows…so, as we can see, the whole business may be starting to unravel.

    Kinda hard to be a führer when you’re nothing but a has-been furor, or a duce when you’re nothing but a douche-bag.

  7. oh come on, he went after chavez because it would win him points, and while I’m happy that peruvians don’t like chavez, I also think we should have a moment of silence for these poor people, who on election day had to choose between, as the writers of south park would put it, a giant douche and a turd sandwich.

    I’m glad the giant douche won, but if he fucks things up as bad this time as he did the last time, we’re going to see the turd sandwich riding back in on a new wave of populism.

    it ain’t over yet, folks. cross your fingers.

  8. AM
    Thanks. I’ll keep my wait and see stance until he installed as the president and begins transforming his platform into legislation

    xavier

  9. mora, that’s a great picture of a plate of ceviche . . . man I’m hungry now . . . so tell me local south floridians, where can I get the best Peruvian ceviche in Miami Dade or Broward County? I’m hungry!

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