What will the headlines be?

Just saw the following at the Tanknet forum and thought I’d share it with you all.

What will the different headlines be from different MSM sources upon the death of the bearded bastard?

AP: “Fidel Castro, dead at 79: billions mourn socialist humanitarian”

Reuters: “Fidel Castro, dead: no connection to Abu Graib found so far”

CBS Evening News: “Memo indicates Bush was AWOL while Castro rose to power”

NYT: “Fidel Castro, dies in Havana: women, minorities hardest hit”

LA Times: “Castro death another failure of the Bush Doctrine”

WaPo: “Rove implicated in Castro’s death”

Feel free to amend or add your own.

Granma: “Imperialist St. Peter Overthrown, fidel triumphant at the Pearly Gates!”

20 thoughts on “What will the headlines be?”

  1. a prayer for fidel

    Now I lay me down to sleep,
    I pray the Lord your soul to keep;
    And if He keeps it very well,
    It’s sure to find its way to hell.

    I pray you’ll get what you deserve;
    I pray you’ll get what I desire;
    Do you think you’ll keep your nerve,
    As you approach eternal fire?

    And if you don’t, it’s no surprise–
    A tyrant never lives his lies.
    May all the souls that you oppressed,
    Make sure you lack eternal rest.

    As I close my eyes tonight,
    To contemplate eternal night;
    I’d pray for you, I really would,
    If only I could see some good.

    May God have mercy on your soul;
    And may all who suffered at your hand
    Be waiting there to greet you
    When you reach the Promised Land

    May they show you justice,
    Of the type that you have shown;
    And with your caring and compassion,
    May you reap exactly what you’ve sown.

    Now I face the setting sun,
    And dry-eyed, lay me down to sleep;
    I know that when you’re dead and gone
    Freedom will cheer– and Hugo will weep.


  2. One more

    Larry King Live!

    “In an extraordinary development, Fidel Castro dies. Tonight, we will have as our special guests to talk about this incredible news, Oliver Stone, Harry Belafonte, Cindy Sheehan and Jane Fonda. Also, the latest on the Natalee Holloway case …”

  3. Castro: Defiant To The End

    Castro: Monster or Hero?

    Castro: A Bittersweet Legacy

    As they say, reality is beyond parody these days. I wouldn’t be surprised to see Dan Rather’s lovefest taken out of mothballs for some stirring retrospective.

  4. Argentine Clarín:
    The world mourns the for the loss of an apostle of peace and freedom

    Venezuela’s Bolivarian News Agency
    President Chávez will fund Castro´s clonation

  5. Cuban premier, Latino celeb, international social justice crusader, and famous pioneer of universal healthcare and education, Fidel Castro, once dubbed as the “sexiest man alive” by Canadian first lady Margaret Trudeau, is mourned by billions worldwide on the tragic occasion of his premature and sudden passing at 79 years of age. Earlier this year an elite contingent of Cuban educated physicians predicted that the popular charismatic leader would live to 150 years due to his excellent health because of Cuba’s groundbreaking universal healthcare model and organic farming methods put in place in lieu of commercial agricultural products made scarce by the United States embargo to the island. Today in Havana, now named Fidelopolis in honor of the maximum leader, the whole city gathered to say good-bye to their beloved president. In attendance at the funeral were thousands of world , business, religious, arts, education, union, gay, lesbian, transgendered, and media leaders, as well as thousands more students, homeless, poor, AIDS patients, sex workers, librarians from the American library Association, disabled, Special Olympic athletes, peace activists, social workers, who had come to Cuba to say good-bye and pay respects to their hero. Melinda Goldbaum, a disabled paraplegic, and gold medal marathon winner at the 2006 Gay Olympics in Chicago, and the San Francisco delegate of NARAL/Pro Choice as well as a board member at the Washington DC Unitarian Universalist gay, lesbian, and transgendered neo Wiccan congregation had the following tear filled words to say about President Castro’s transition.

    “Today is a sad day, Cuba has lost a great leader, but saddest of all, the world has lost its greatest champion – Fidel was Cuba’s own Don Quixotic, who fed the poor, gave shoes to children, and taught the ignorant to read, but today we will always think of him as the world’s own leader – tilting windmills and fighting the dragons that came his way via the dungeons belonging to the Mafia in Miami! But today I also lost a father, yes, Fidel to me was like a father – not only to me but to all the children and adults of the world -and to you my “papi” I sat to you hasta la victoria siempre commandante!!!”

    Giving the tearfilled eulogy at the funeral was American actor and human rights activist Danny Glover along with consummate proformer, civil rights phenom, and United Nation’s UNICEF ambassador Harry Belofante along with the help of 50 multilingual sign language interpreters.

    A 200 man gospel choir sent by the famous New York City’s Gay Men’s Glee Club, as well as the equally famous African drummers from the National Council of Churches at Riverside Church were in attendance. A tearful climax was had by all as the Gay Men’s Glee Club choir and the African drummers graced the crowds with their rendition of Gloria Gaynor’s Disco classic “I Will Survive”. A modern improv dance troop from Berkeley California were just one of the thousands that performed side by side, equally along noted celebrities like Carlos Santana and Rage Against the Machine who re-united just for this sad moment in order to honor their inspiration.

  6. One likely scenerio when Castro “cante el manisero” or “large el piojo,” is that thousands of Cubans will be crying on the streets of Havana out of fear of the uncertainty that lies ahead. It was the same fear that had the Soviet masses weeping when Stalin died in 1953. It was the same insecurity that had Dominicans publicly wailing when dictator Rafael Trujillo was assassinated in 1961. I will be celebrating Castro’s death on Calle Ocho, but I seriously doubt that there will be public manifestations of joy in Havana. Only time will tell. Don’t be surprised at the results.

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