Let’s all chip in.
Academic Elephant has a great post up reminding us that a certain rumored-to-be-already-hanging-out-with-Satan dictator would be celebrating a birthday next month:
After all, liberty is always the right size and always the right color
I know, I know, we’ve all had the same dilemma. A close neighbor is having a major birthday. You have to get a gift–but this is a tough one. The neighbor in question is one of the wealthiest men on the planet, so there’s nothing he actually needs. And he’s supposed to be a “communist,” thus taking frivolous luxuries off the table. As much as he might enjoy that case of Kristal, it just wouldn’t look right, what will all those lucky inhabitants of the island paradise going without basic necessities.
Wait. I think I just had an idea. Since Fidel Castro already has it all, how about we give his subjects freedom in honor of his 80th birthday? After all, liberty is always the right size and always the right color.
Unfortunately, that particular gift of freedom for his people, given to fidel castro, would be like giving a five year old a pack of Fruit of the Looms for Christmas. Once the wrapping is removed and the gift is visible, it will be tossed aside onto the “gifts Ill never use pile.”
I’ve a better idea for this years birthday gift to fidel castro, which coincides with this week’s rumors of his, how shall we say, next revolutionary conquest of Hades.
I think we should all pony up a few bucks and get fidel something he really really needs. We have two choices, first we have the standard fidel castro birthday box. Which, like a good communist, is all he really needs as it’s plain and no offers frills.
Or, should there be concerns that his birthday box be inundated because of the long line of people waiting to piss on his grave, we can always give fidel his own very special birthday urn.
So, come on, whaddaya say? Let’s give fidel castro a birthday present he really, really needs.