castro Is Dead Rumors

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Our refferrer logs show an increase in search engine hits today with the search parameter “castro rumors.” Thus I though it would be a good time to post this week’s installment of “The castro Death Watch.”

Reports are fidel castro may be dead if, in fact, he is no longer living. However, several Cuban government press releases have referenced the aliveness of fidel castro and stated that his aliveness is alive and almost alive enough to be alive and almost alive and kicking.

Yet, independent sources are reporting that the aliveness of fidel castro has not been witnessed for several weeks now despite said Cuban government reports to the contrary. However, it’s important to note that said Cuban government has been known to lie only when they are not propagating falsehoods or simply not telling the truth. Thus, official reports on the aliveness of fidel castro may be falsely true or truly false.

If, in fact, fidel castro and his aliveness are no longer lively, living or showing any hint of aliveness, then chances are that he may, in fact, be scientifically not alive and his aliveness may be a mere symbolic representation of what used to be his aliveness when it was alive in the scientific sense of aliveness. Certain trusted sources have made reference to this alive aliveness and its penchant for recently being non-existent, thus logical deduction and statistical probability and alogorithmic calculations conclude that the aliveness may be alive, but not alive enough to prove that its alive in the empirical sense of aliveness.

So, to recap, fidel castro may be alive if his aliveness is alive in aliveness, however, given recent reports that his aliveness has not shown any signs of being alive, in the alivenessly aliveness sense of aliveness, then chances are the Cuban dictator has lost his aliveness and is, indeed, not as alive as he should be and may be, at minimum, reasonably dead or, at maximum, extremely dead.

We report, you decide.

23 thoughts on “castro Is Dead Rumors”

  5. Cole Sear: I see dead people.

    Malcolm Crowe: Dead people like, in graves? In coffins?

    Cole Sear: Walking around like regular people. They don’t see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don’t know they’re dead.

    “The Sixth Sense”

  6. BABALU: I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, my lad. ‘E’s dead, that’s what’s wrong with it!
    MSM: No, no, ‘e’s uh,…he’s resting.
    BABALU: Look, matey, I know a dead castro when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now.
    MSM: No no he’s not dead, he’s, he’s restin’! Remarkable dictator, the great fidel! on of our great heroes!
    BABALU: “Hero” don’t enter into it. He’s stone dead.
    MSM: Nononono, no, no! ‘E’s resting!
    BABALU: All right then, if he’s restin’, I’ll wake him up!

  14. That is it if Castro does not show up by December, my family and I are going to declare him officially deceased and we will have a party and watch the old Woody Allen movie Bananas…..

  15. From EFE at 1:11 PM today:
    “El líder cubano, Fidel Castro, mejora cada día desde su operación intestinal de finales de julio y “asumirá pronto sus responsabilidades como presidente”, aseguró hoy el jefe de la Sección de Intereses de Cuba en Washington, Dagoberto Rodríguez.

    “Su salud ha estado mejorando todos los días y él asumirá pronto sus responsabilidades como presidente”, dijo Rodríguez para salir al paso de los rumores que cobraron fuerza esta semana en algunos medios sobre el presunto fallecimiento de Castro.”
    http://www.unionradio.com.ve/Noticias/Noticia.aspx?NoticiaId=184777

  19. mavi,

    My theory is that the bastard is already dead and they’re keeping him on ice til after the Venezuelan elections. If chavez goes, so does Cuba’s oil and consequently what little is left of its infrastructure.

  21. Val.
    You constantly amaze me with your words!!!!. I think the asshole is dead as a door nail and rotting in hell.

  23. I hope the CIA, if they know fer sure the rat is dead, will make sure to leak this to maximize the effect on chavez’ election and make it clear to everyone how chavez relies on cheating and stealing to win.

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