The Bionic Track Suit

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Dont be dismayed by today’s release of video and other images of a fidel castro flaunting his aliveness. Word on the street is that ADIDAS (All Day I Dream About Socialism) is in the final testing stages of it’s new Bionic Track Suit. No longer will you have to put forth the effort to exercise, the ADIDAS Bionic Track suit does it all for you.

The ADIDAS Bionic Track Suit, tested on the perfect laboratory rat, one zombie-esque fidel castro, will soon be available on the Home Shopping Network. Aliveness propaganda sold separately. No batteries required.Runs exclusively on subsidized Venezuelan petroleum!

Coming soon: the fidel castro ADIDAS Bionic Track Suit iPod interface. Twelve, six hour speeches for those heavy workouts.

Update: Welcome Michelle Malkin readers! Thanks for coming by and I hope this tongue in cheek post isnt all too disappointing. Fact is, there have been reports and rumors of fidel castro’s death for over forty years. It seems the bearded dictator dies on a quarterly basis and the frustration of his constant “resurrections” can only be fought back with comedy. If you’re interested in reading about what the death of fidel castro will mean to some Cubans and Cuban-Americans, I urge you all to read read this post and its associated comments.

23 thoughts on “The Bionic Track Suit”

  1. EEEeeech…! How grotesque … just in time for Halloween. Like my abuela used to say, Solo le queda el casco y la mala idea.

  3. From the image a few things are clear: It is clearly in a hospital room, he is clearly extremely frail and emaciated, and it is undated.
    I still think he is dead.

  4. LOL! We laugh “a lo cubano” at this pathetic spectacle, but I would give my left one to be able to see how in the privilige classes in Cuba who have a vested interest in the dictator’s life ot death are taking this.

  12. Y’all want this little black-feathered duck believing fidel’s alive?

    It’s quite simple. Show me something I can date—and I ain’t gonna count something like that newspaper front page thing that can be Photoshopped.

    Better yet, show me the fool. Bring him out, let him walk out, wave, stay out long enough that the intel types trained to look for doubles can do so, then bring him back indoors.

  14. I wonder if he has on his “Bionic” Depends diaper so he doesn’t s#!+ himself when he hears me say “Usted no me dice, yo lo digo, pendejo!”

  15. Castro flaying his arms to indicate that he is well reminds me of the Janet Reno “dancing” video to show that she was fit when she ran for governor of Florida. Interesting how it has taken Castro three months to just walk those few measured steps. What will he do three months from now to show that he is fit, ride a bicycle into a wall like he did on a dare when he was a student at Belen High School?

  16. It’s interesting how hugo in Venezuela is serving as update mouthpiece for the bearded b*&@$#!rd

    fidel is just like Osama — lover of cameras and flashlights and action. When he drops out of sight like this ….. huele a queso abandonado.

  19. That patetic atempt of virility make me pee in my shorts.
    Anyway,I believe that I found my hollowing costume. I’m going to be “Frankcastrein.”

  21. When did he trade the fatigues for a track suit? He looks like a senile nursing home inhabitant who has been cleaned up for a visit by the children.

  22. His face looks shiny like they put some make up on him. He looks like a cadaver. If they want to prove he is alive, invite some foreign press for a photo-op. The newspaper bit reminds me of a bad kidknapping you see in the movies.

  23. Val,

    As long as you have the audience, you need to link to your post of how you dream what the day will be like when Fidel kicks the bucket

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