19 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity

  1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
  3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in.”
  5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors”.
  7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy”.
  8. Dont use any punctuation
  9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
  11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
  12. Sing along at the opera.
  13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
  14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
  15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
  16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, rock hard.
  17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won!, I won!”
  18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
  19. Tell your children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

(H/T Jorge Blanco)

6 thoughts on “19 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity”

  1. follow someone closely, in a shopping mall, grocery, the beach, whatever.. say “excuse me”, then quickly turnaround, as if you are looking for ‘whoever’ called you

    try to find those musical greeting cards, rip out the musical piece, and hide it in the office (remember, pay for the card,don’t shoplift)

    for some serious shits and giggles, go to the bank, grab a deposit slip, write “this is a stick-up, gimme the money” stick the slip back in the stack and wait for the fun to begin..

    i have shamelessly ‘borrowed’ these ideas.. does anyone know from where? i havent checked, but they are probably burried so deep in the net we might not get an answer..

  2. This brightened a sad and difficult day.

    By the way my old and uncertain memory recalls a Jorge Blanco from the Escolapios of Guanabacoa???

  3. #1 was from a howie mandel video..

    #2 and 3 are from a short cartoon on saturday night live called “tippy turtle” the theme song was “hey tippy turtle, hey hey tippy turtle, tell us what your gonna do? (tippy sings=) first im gonna bother everyone i meet then i probably go home and get drunk”

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