I’ve got $18,000,000 and I need help. (Updated)

How many of those Nigerian email spams do you get daily? I get at least 50. In fact, if I had a dime for each conspam Ive received in the past four years, I wouldnt need that extra $18,000,000 they have lying around ready to be dispersed. But it get’s kinda tiring each day having to delete all that spam.

So what do you do? Well, you do what Steve did. Start responding and then write a book:


Dear Sir: I must solicit your confidence in this transaction. I am a high placed official with the Department of Finance Affairs in Lagos, Nigeria. I and two other colleagues are in need of a silent foreign partner whose bank account we can use to transfer the sum of $18,000,000. This are monies left by a barrister who died tragically in a plane crash last year…

Sound familiar? Congratulations. You have been selected to become a mugu, an expression African con artists use to describe the targets of their e-mail scams. But they drew a bead on the wrong guy when they started spamming Steve H. Graham. Like many Internet users, Graham eventually got tired of receiving mugu mail and decided to fire back at his wannabe swindlers.

Armed with a scathing sense of humor, Graham quickly turned the tables on his tormenters–with side-splittingly hilarious results. Whether he’s referring to his fictional lawyer Biff Wellington, complaining about the injury he received while milking a lactating sloth, or offering the Preparation H helpline as his phone number, Graham–using aliases such as Wile E. Coyote, Barney Rubble, and Herman Munster–offers proof that spamming the spammers is the best revenge.

Steve H. Graham is a retired attorney. Since childhood, he has been fighting for truth, justice, and free movie passes. For each copy sold of this book, he will donate 100 percent of the proceeds to himself. He is also the author of the cookbook Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man. He lives in Miami.

Im told the book will be in stores today, or you can order your copy here.

Ive read quite a few passages and without giving anything away, it’s pretty freaken funny.

Congrats to Steveo on his latest literary achievement.

Update:Get your Tivos ready. Looks like Steve’s gonna be on Fox News tomorrow morning. I wonder if they’ll let me cook a lechon in the parking lot and do a live feed?

7 thoughts on “I’ve got $18,000,000 and I need help. (Updated)”

  1. google “mugu baiting” and you get a load of sites that do similar stuff..
    standard “don’t drink any liquids while reading the pages” apply

  2. I remember responding to one of these emails by advising I was indisposed and unable to participate, due to “postoperative recovery from a recent amputation of the head.” I asked if perhaps they might want to contribute towards payment of my medical bills.

    Well, by crikey, they wrote again, nonplussed, still soliciting Benjamins. I hit the delete button on that one.

  3. Friends, where else on the Internet can you read this phrase: “Milking a lactating sloth.” Wonderful. I have my copy, with a personal dedication, waiting for me… If I can ever go to see Mr. H.

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