Two blegs: (1) Can someone confirm that this actually appeared in the El Mundo in Spain and that it’s legitimate; (2) Can one of our trusty bilingual contributers or commenters translate this article? I want our English-speaking readers to experience the nausea first-hand.
(H/T Gabe)
The letter is not real. It’s satire. Anson, who is as antisocialist as they come, is imitating Zapatero’s style. The idea was to make Spaniards think: Could Zappy really have writen this disgrace.
And yes, quite a few Spaniards think he could have. That’s the deal here.
El Mundo link:
http://www.elmundo.es/papel/2007/04/10/opinion/2108491.html
The truth is stranger than fiction.
Actually many Spanish commentors said that Zappy couldn’t have written that letter because it is actually articulate while Zappy can’t even write two coherent sentences.
A real letter would have graced the cover of EVERY Spanish newspaper and Mr Bean would be toast.
What he REALLY thinks is an entirely other matter.
Here is an English version that is not less humorous despite the fact that formal Spanish has more hilarity in the current context.
Fine Cinnamon / Luis Maria Anson
I organized the Efe Agency in Havana during the 80’s. Some good friends remain from that time. One of them has sneaked up to me the letter that Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero sent to Fidel Castro. I am reproducing it in full without changing even a comma.
Dear and Admired President, My Commander:
The Minister of Foreign Affairs from my government, Miguel Angel Moratinos relates to me his official trip to Cuba and informs me of the favorable development of the health of Your Excellence. You do not know how I rejoice in this since my generation has been educated with their eyes focused upon Communist Cuba and the inequaled figure of Fidel Castro, centinel of liberty, leader of the Caribbean by grace of the historic destiny and supreme commander of the armies of land, sea, and air in the Pearl of the Antilles.
The new generations that live in hedonism, lack the clear awareness of what it has meant for the world the struggle of your excellence for freedom, human rights and social policy against the voracity of the Empire, against the unqualified blockade imposed by the United States. Despite this historic abuse, Cuba is today, thanks to Your Excellence, a paradise of freedom, a just nation where the laws derived from the freely expressed will of the people are respected and obeyed by a free and hopeful people that enjoys a high level of life, having replaced in your cities the sign of the cross for the hammer and sicle. Minister Moratinos was left dumbfounded by the progress and joy of the Cuban citizens.
Certainly the depravity of the foreign tourists has forced Your Excellence to keep the bareback riders in the streets but the great majority of the new generation lives happy, framed by that front of admirable youth represented by the organization of pioneers.
I have given instructions to my minister not to intercede for the so-called “political prisoners” that are nothing more than mercenaries at the service of a foreign power, traitors to the motherland or terrorists that pretend to undermine the foundations of the glorious Revolution, the regimen established by Your Excellence that is an example for all the world of respect for human rights and freedoms. Only the fallacy of the ultra-rightist Asnar could take the decadent Europe to a fascist position of taking measures against the regimen of Your Excellence. Naturally, I have decided to re-establish a privileged relationship with the democratic government of Your Excellence. Also, I have given instructions to my minister not to attend those dissidents, ridiculously resented minorities, unable to understand the greatness of the Revolution that Your Excellence, motherland or death, has accomplished.
In two years, my commander, there will be 50 years of the access to the leadership of the State by Your Excellence. It is my purpose to go to Havana with all my Government to render unto Your Excellence the homage for which all democrats of the world are indebted. Half a century, winning one after the other all elections celebrated in your country, once profaned by that Spain of unhappy memory, colonialist, catholic and inquisitorial, is an event without precedent.
UI take opportunity in this letter, My Commander, to implore for the high honor to allow Spain to join the axis Castro-Chavez-Evo that has the United States in constant terror along with his fascist president, the evil monger Bush.
In expectation of your joyful news, I restate, my Commander, my desire and that of the Spanish people for your prompt recovery and remain as always to the full behest of Your Excellence with my renewed admiration and my permanent desire to continue receiving you teaching.
Jose Maria Rodriguez Zapatero
In Madrid and the Palace of Moncloa on the 7th day of April, 2007
After reading the letter the King of Spain wrote to castro recently I don’t doubt anything from the gallegos. He even addressed him as Su Excelencia if I recall from the letter and wished him a speedy recovery. El guajiro de Biran also known as Bola de Churre never thought one day a so called King would call him Su excelencia!. Cosas vederes Sancho que no crederes! So I think J.L el Zapatero would not be any different. I will love to see their faces one day when Cuba is free and the archives with their crimes are opened, try to explain to the Cuban people all of this obeisance to the tyrant. It will be a sight to behold.