Yes, I know. It’s the bastard’s “birthday.”

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So today fidel castro supposedly turns 81 and everything is ho-um, yawn….
Now, Ive made my thoughts on whole castro health thing pretty clear: He’s dead as a doornail. Kaput. On ice. Colgo los tenis. Swimmin’ wid de fishes.
But, on the off chance that I may be wrong on this particular instance, and the bearded bastard (he is a bastard, technically and figuratively) is still somehow clinging to life like the parasite he’s always been, i’d like to take this opportunity to say a few words on this, his 81st birthday:
fidel,
You turn eighty-one today and since we have not had the “pleasure” of seeing you in person for over a year now, I come to the conclusion that you must be very, very ill. Now, most exiles and Miami Mafiosos would and do wish you an exhorbitant amount of physical, debilitating pain and suffering, but I dont feel I need to go to that extreme. My birthday wish for you, today, is that as you lie there peacefully, unable to speak, with needles and machines keeping you “alive”, with the hiss and beeps rythmically annoucing and counting your final moments here on this world, that you are somewhere deep inside fully cognizant of your life. That you play said life back over and over and over again and realize that it was a wasted one. That you and your life were exactly what they were always destined to be and what you knew as a child: a dismal failure. You created no “New Man.” Your revolution was nothing more than a front for yet another foreign country running Cuba. That you did nothing for Cuba save for destroying it. That you did nothing for the Cuban people save for destroying them. That you and you alone are responsible for the deaths of untold thousands. That you and everything you “stood” for was and are predicated upon nothing but lies, arrogance, and more lies. That while during your lifetime, the name fidel castro may have become a household name, once you are gone, fidel castro, you will be but a blip in the history of a nation. A nation that will once again return to her rightful prosperity, which you, fidel castro, usurped for your ignobility.
I hope, as you lie there half-conscious, spaghettied with wires and tubing, that you cannot hear those physically around you for the screams of all of those souls you broke, all of those men and women and children you killed and that you are able to see only the crimson of the blood you shed.
And I hope this lasts, fidel castro. Lasts and lasts and lasts. I hope this madness envelopes your every thought and rots your very being.
Happy Birthday, you worthless bastard motherfucker.

18 thoughts on “Yes, I know. It’s the bastard’s “birthday.””

  1. Val,

    You could have reworded your opening to read:

    …and since we’ve had the pleasure of seeing you in prison for over a year now.

    This is one fact that no one has alluded to, but the BASTARD has been in his own virtual prison for over 1 year now (he has not been OUT – or maybe HAS NOT BEEN ALLOWED out) in over 1 year.

    So we can take some DELIGHT in that fact alone.

  7. Justice will be served – Wether that two-legged rat is alive or not, I know he’s had a moment of lucidity when the reality of his failed and miserable life will bitch-slap him like the cheap pimp that he is.

  8. Val,
    Bravo! You definately have a way with words. I applaud you, sir. Wouldn’t it be nice if we got the news that he is dead (although I agree with you that he is already dead)tomorrow? They could be waiting for today to pass….

  9. What are they waiting for? Hey chicken shit raul, act like a man for a change. Make the announcement and face the your short future.

  13. I’ve had a hunch that they’re waiting for a taxidermist to enbalm that rat …. wonder if there are taxidermists left in Cuba. He looks so….. dissecated. Just like the prisoners who’ve rotted in jail because of him.
    Justice is yet to be served, on the other side.

  15. In an article by Yolanda Martinez, correspondent for the Mexican newspaper “Reforma” in Havana, titled “Dread over Fidel’s health” (Temen por salud de Fidel) she makes the following (loosely translated by yours truly) statement:
    Persons with close access to castro’s family assert that his present state of health is very fragile and that in the past few weeks he has undergone several surgeries trying to stop what could turn out to be fatal septicemia.
    “personas con acceso a su entorno familiar aseguran que su estado actual es de máxima fragilidad” y que “En las últimas semanas ha sido intervenido más de una vez para frenar lo que podría llegar a convertirse en una septicemia fatal”.
    Ms. Martinez, a Spanish national, and a devout castroite, left a better paying editorial job in Spain in order to become a correspondent in Cuba. Those that know her well claim that she has very good contacts (sources) in Havana.

  16. When Fidel finally goes to…wherever dead tyrants go when they die, the Funerary Rites should consist of removing his skin and tanning it to make a large Castro-Pouch; stuffing it with shit; and then having his supporters play whack the piñata with him.
    Maybe that’s too much unnecessary work. He’s already full of shit.

  18. I keep dreaming that fidel will end like musolini, hanging upside down from a pole being stoned by the people. It may be too late for fidel but there is still time for raul to end upside down.

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