This Radio Netherlands article states that Cuba “has signed up to two United Nations human rights treaties.”
This leads me to wonder just what does “up to” mean? Did they indeed sign two treaties? Did they sign one and are thinking about signing the second treaty? Have they not yet signed any of the two treaties but are thinking of signing both? Are they going to sign both treaties, but erase the signature on one of them, and then later sign it again?
Regardless of what they meant by that ambiguous declaration, the Cuban people should not break out their demonstration banners and walking shoes yet. According to Felipe “Cara de Mono” Perez Roque, the signing of these two treaties, or maybe one, or maybe none, or maybe both now and then only one later, or maybe both tomorrow, or only one the day after, or maybe both the day after tomorrow and none the week after, will mean little to the Cuban people. You see, according to Perez Roque, these treaties are just a formality.
Cuban Foreign Minister Felipe Perez Roque describes the move as a formality, saying the rights enshrined in the documents have been respected in Cuba since the 1959 revolution. At the signing ceremony, he took the opportunity to repeat calls for the United States to lift its trade embargo of Cuba in force since 1962.
Now we have a little more context.
I think that what he means to say is that once the dictatorship signs one, or both, or one but not the other, or the other but not this one, or both today but only one tomorrow, or none today but both a week from last Monday, or one on the third Wednesday of March (only if it isn’t a leap year–in the case that it is, then it would be the first Friday of April), or both on the anniversary of the great Giant Strawberry harvest, unless, of course, that anniversary happens to be an even year, which in that case the signing of none, one, or both treaties would be scheduled on the eve of the druid equinox with real, imitation midget druids dancing around a miniature model of Stone Henge, the regime would show the world how it is complying with the UN’s request that it respect the Cuban people’s basic human rights.
Of course, by El Monito’s own admission, the regime has no intention on changing any of its repressive ways, nevertheless, they expect to be rewarded for this act that agrees to provide rights that will not really be provided, but the language says it will, although everyone knows they don’t really have to, but for the sake of expediency everyone will smile and act like it means something, even though everyone knows it won’t change anything, but it will, however, make great headlines across the world of how “Cuba” has agreed to treat their citizens like humans, which Cuba will reply that “hey, we’ve always treated our slaves well–we’ve taught them how to read and write communist propaganda and have given them free health care.” With such a convincing argument, how can the UN do anything else than exert its colossal political pressure on the US to lift the embargo? Maybe this gesture will finally convince the Bush administration to change its policy towards the newly christened king of Cuba; raulito, the earl of Pato (can I get a quack-quack?).
The answer from the Bush administration, I have heard, will be coming tomorrow, or maybe a week from the second Friday in June, unless it is raining that day in which case the date will be moved to the first night with a full moon in July, providing, of course, that the real, imitation midget druid dancers are available.