Your no-good brother in law

We talk a lot about the embargo on this blog. It’s a sort of line in the sand and a sacred cow. But people generally aren’t swayed one way or another, usually sticking to their point of view no matter what. Today I was trying to think of a metaphor that might make it easier for people to understand my position on the embargo and it’s that no-good, deadbeat, drug addict black sheep of the family that everyone seems to have.
Imagine that one cousin, uncle, sibling or brother in-law that’s a loser. Totally self-destructive and destructive to those around him. Well that’s Cuba under castro. People in your family encourage you to make amends with the guy, to forgive and forget. But you are smarter than that. You understand that the first step to recovery is to admit there’s a problem and your no-good brother in law hasn’t hit rock bottom yet.
While all of your other relatives enable him by giving him money which he promptly gambles or smokes rocks or shoots up with you’ve decided that the only thing that will save him is reach the end of his rope. Your relatives don’t see it that way, you are cold-hearted, they think, and you are turning your back on your no-good brother in law who needs your help. Every time you get together with your family they bust your balls about your rift with the no-good brother in-law and it always turns ugly.
But you can’t seem to understand how enabling him and pretending that everything is normal, when it isn’t, will help matters. You try to explain to all of your family members that despite all of the “help” they extended your no-good brother in-law continues to be incorrigible and that it’s their actions, not yours, which are prolonging his agony.
Your no-good brother in law needs tough love but you are the only person willing to give it. In the end I guess you could cave in and do what all of your other relatives do. You wouldn’t have that friction with them at family gatherings anymore. But would you really be helping your brother in-law?