I’m sure there are many Babalu readers that have at one point or another asked how we keep our sanity sometimes given that we’re in the trenches day in and day out, fighting the dark fidel loving evil forces of this world. Some battles we win, some battles we lose, some days it seems we’re like Don Quijotes, battling windmills. I can personally attest to the anger and frustration that builds up, bubbling like some witch’s brew within. Now, I dont know how our crew of contributors handle their own frustration build-up, but I can tell you how I handle mine.
Every Friday I tell those purveyors of anger and frustration to FUCK OFF.
Thanks to our great friends at It Comes in Pints, every Friday, I have a venue to cyber scream at anything and everything that’s been pissing me off that week. It’s called “The Friday Fuck Off Thread.” In Cubanese, it’s the equivalent of un tremendo Desahogo.
Por ejemplo:
Did some marxist journalist write a column praising castro this week that made you so mad you wanted to grab the guy by the neck while screaming profanities in his red face? Fret not, friends, no need to get physically violent. All you need is the FFOT where you can take the little top off the pressure cooker and blow that steam right out:
To Mr. Marxist Journalist that wrote that fidel loving column: FUCK THE FUCK OFF, YOU FUCK. Me cago en el coño tu madre, hijo de la gran….
Some idiot cut you off in traffic this morning?
To Mr. Hummer that cut me off in traffic with his big truck to compensate for his shortcomings: FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK. Take your Hummer and shove it right up….
You get the picture. Trust me folks, it’s like therapy, only better because you dont have to be answering questions from some geek wearing horn rimmed glasses and a cardigan. And, of course, it’s free. Last week’s session was hosted by my good pals over at the Coalition of the Swilling, and you can take it all in right here.
Unfortunately again this week, our usual FFOT hosts are having some technical difficulties and cant host this weeks cyber FFOT support group. Thus, I have the honor and privilege to be this week’s Friday Fuck Off Thread support group host.
So, if you have something or someone that has completely pissed you off this week, something or someone that made you so mad you just wanted to scream, click open the comments box below, set your caps lock key on, take a deep breath and let it all out. Desahogense sin pena.
If you’re offended by mass profanity, I suggest you go ahead and skip this thread because it can get quite…um…tapaboca-ish.
Take it away, FFOT’ers….
El Desahogo – I learned a new word!
Major League fuck off to that sorry excuse for a governor Elliot Spitzer, who built a career on slime, leaks, innuendo, and bullying. Crawl off and don’t come back, jerk.
Ya gotta love this place !!!!!!
Cancer can fuck off.
To the FUCKING FUCKS that stole the disabled woman rower’s boat trailer here in Miami this morning can FUCK THE FUCK OFF. This lady is a disabled military vet that works with veterans and disabled children across the country and those FUCKING SLIMEBAG MOTHERFUCKERS ripped off her boat trailer from right next to her van that has all the informationon all the charities and events that she hosts and participates all over the place. I hope those FUCKING LITTLE FUCKS PAY FUCKING DEARLY FOR THEIR FUCKING CRIME. FUCKING BASTARD FUCKS..
Bureaucratic crapweasels willfully entrenched in a rut can FUCK THE FUCKITY FUCK FUCKING FUCK OFF after being ass plowed by an anti-tank missile. Fuckwits like you are the reason why huge organizations tend to ossify and die. IT AIN’T ABOUT BEING COMFORTABLE ASSHAT, it’s about doing the job. So stop munching on the ass nachos, put on your mission face, and get with the fucking program.
That is not all. But that is all for now.
DST can FTFO.
The got-dang tree pollen can FTFO. I don’t like living in the middle of tree orgy-land, it makes me sneeze and cough and makes me tired. Yeah, yeah, I’m really happy for the trees that they’re gettin’ some, but it makes me frickin’ miserable.
Eliot Spitzer can FTFO. No, I live nowhere near New York so I’m not directly affected, but hearing about his slimebag antics just pisses me off. Especially since he made his wife stand up there, rigid smile on her face, “supporting” him. (Good thing I wasn’t his wife; I’d be “supporting” him with some boards and a sawhorse so I could aim to shoot a second and third time)
Politicians who screw with our lives, claiming it’s “for our own good” or “in our own best interests” can FTFO. School boards that suspend kids for having Skittles in school because it violates some crank-ass “wellness policy” can FOAD. The nanny-state can be ass-plowed by a rabid Yeti on a diesel snowmobile.
The nanny-state can be ass-plowed by a rabid Yeti on a diesel snowmobile.
I completely second that motion!
“…after being ass plowed by an anti-tank missile.”
Somewhere Patton is gnashing his teeth, wishing he could post in here and rip himself for not coming up with that one before you did.
Oh, and may the fleas of a thousand camels infest the armpits of the right Rev. Jeremiah Wright…
“Cancer can fuck off.”
I will second that one
Ditto to Jeremiah Wright.
Fraudulent Potty Mouth Man of the Cloth. A thousand dirty diapers down your throat and up your blak moons, you phony racist pig.
Nothing like a foul false prophet gets my hot pitchfork out and moving.
Stupid-ass clients who BARELY READ THEIR FUCKING PROOF (and when they do, their lips move) and then have the gall to curse me out on the phone over it can FUCK OFF AND DIE IN A PIT OF RANCID WORM SWEAT! And swear to God, the main reason I didn’t tell them exactly that is that my grandfather taught me not to talk that way to women. (Grandpa had a hard and heavy hand.) I’ve spent nights and weekends trying to READ THEIR FUCKING MINDS (and drawing a blank – go figure!), and they have the chutzpah to bitch me out in vulgar terms because they’re looking at the WRONG FUCKING PROOF?
Fuck you both with a rusty crescent wrench!
My cystic pustule of an ovary can FTFO. I can’t cut you you yet, because I want one more child, but godammit, I can see why the women in my family haven’t had a natural menopause since the advent of modern surgery! Quit with the nausea, the bloating and the PAIN! I already had one cut out so I won’t spend five goddamn hours in the fucking ER getting every orifice in my body probed just to be goddamn sure it’s not motherfucking appendicitis! I’m missing work and feel like shit. Knock it the fuck off, already!
Maybe it’s TMI, but I DON’T FUCKING CARE! This is the FFOT!
“The nanny-state can be ass-plowed by a rabid Yeti on a diesel snowmobile.”
That’s by far, the funniest thing I’ve read all week.
A major Fuck Off to the Fat ass who runs the Dade county school board, who earns more than the president of the united States and yet our children learn less every day.
Fuck off and go back to where you fucking came from, and that Includes our elite Law makers in Tallahasee who did shit to reduce property taxes, pieces of shit to all politicians.
Patton believed he was re-incarnated through the centuries, wish it were true. Of course besides being the best general of WWII he was genuinely crazy but so what.
And for everyone who has 700 lbs. of junk in the trunk of their car, half of it dust, doesn’t keep the car tuned up (blue smoke pouring from the exhaust), has half-inflated tires, drives one block to pick up a pack of cigarettes, breaks the speed limit before they’ve even left their driveway, and nearly kills 50 people as they scream across town at 90 mph to save 1/10th of a cent per gallon, all the way cursing Bush and oil companies for the price of gas:
May you all slide down a 50-foot razor blade into a vat of alcohol.
For this incredible display of sheer hubris:
”I understand with newspapers struggling and hoping to hold on to, or possibly expand their audiences, I understand why they do what they do,” Costas said. ‘But it’s one thing if somebody just sets up a blog from their mother’s basement in Albuquerque and they are who they are, and they’re a pathetic get-a-life loser, but now that pathetic get-a-life loser can piggyback onto someone who actually has some level of professional accountability and they can be comment No. 17 on Dan Le Batard’s column or Bernie Miklasz’ column in St. Louis. That, in most cases, grants a forum to somebody who has no particular insight or responsibility. Most of it is a combination of ignorance or invective.”
What bothers Costas — and he’s not alone — is Internet and talk radio commentary that “confuses simple mean-spiritedness and stupidity with edginess. Just because I can call someone a name doesn’t mean I’m insightful or tough and edgy. It means I’m an idiot.
“It’s just a high-tech place for idiots to do what they used to do on bar stools or in school yards, if they were school yard bullies, or on men’s room walls in gas stations. That doesn’t mean that anyone with half a brain should respect it.”
Bob “Osh Kosh B’Gosh” Costas can FUCK THE FUCLK OFF. Really Bob? I suppose if we think that youre the FUCKING ASSHOLE THAT YOU ARE, and we have the audacity to voice our FUCKING opinion on your completely inane FUCKING EXCUSE FOR A LIFE, then we’re what? Pathetic get a life losers? Here’s a FUCKING CLUE, FUCKDWARF: We’re your FUCKING AUDIENCE YOU FUCKSTUB, without us, all your inane FUCKING RAMBLING is FUCKING MOOT, ASSHOLE. You are nothing now, and without us youre even less than the thought of the idea of being nothing, FUCKPUDDLE. I can assure you that anyone even remotely intelligent GIVES A RAT’S ASS WHAT THE FUCK YOUR FUCKING SHITASS OPINION IS, and now, even us “mean spirited, stupid, high tech idiots” realize just what a SHIT MUFFIN you are, you FUCKING FUCK. No matter how high you try to fart, you aint getting any FUCKING TALLER, FUCKHEAD. COMEMIERDA.
New word for the day: Fuckery
As in stealing a disabled woman’s boat trailer is complete fuckery.
See Gusano’s post above. I’ll toss mine at the tyrant collaborating MSM pond scum who have been aiding and abetting the genocidal reign of castro, inc. for a half century. When Cuba is free, I want them forced back to Cuba not to chronicle, butto view what they’ve wrought. I want each and everyone one of them to stand before the Cuban people, to listen, and then to write, and say the names of each and every single one of casto’s victims, and then to read aloud what they wrote during that time. And they can repeat this process until they get it, then kick them off the island permanently.
Kinda like when the Allied generals made the townspeople walk through the deathcamps and see the piles of bodies in 1945, eh Ziva?
Oh and don’t get me started on the piece of tape that won’t stick — until you try to SHAKE IT OFF YOUR HAND INTO THE TRASH CAN! @#$%@#$#!!!#@$@#$!!@#$#$!
Exactly Zhangligun, and that’s the least I’d like to do to them.
And Val, here’s a key point that Bobbo seems to willfully miss. Even in the case of those blogs that are nothing but mindless “invective”, they still have one huge advantage over the dinosaur media. You can TALK BACK to them in front of the whole audience when they’re wrong about something. (And in turn, if you’re wrong, somebody else can call YOU out.)
Remember the rigged explosions on the GM Trucks by Dateline, Bob? How ’bout the Audi “sudden-acceleration” and Jeep CJ flipover scams by 60 Minutes? It took years for these scams to be exposed during which damage was done to the automakers — they would have been called out on this crap within hours or even minutes of the show airing if they happened now, as RatherGate proved. The RatherGate story was BROKEN by one of us pajama idiots, meaning if we left it to all that “professional accountability”, we STILL wouldn’t know about it to this day.
Which leads to my next point: Even assuming hypothetically that 100% of blogs are ignorance and invective, maybe it wouldn’t have come to that if you and your friends were actually doing your jobs as journalists instead of putting out just a more polite version of what you accuse us of. But as Chris Matthews shows by wetting his pants over Obama, and now you (Bob Costas) crying in your beer over the loss of a monopoly that will never come back, you haven’t learned a thing.
You salivate over the prospect of a career-destroying expose’ of some politician or public figure you don’t like, but God forbid your OWN feet should ever be held to the fire. We’ve spent FORTY YEARS with tape over our mouths as you turned every network HQ into a transcription service for the Kremlin, Havana, Paris and Baghdad. You got a problem with us finally venting all the frustration that has built up during that time, then just do your job!
Otherwise, pull my finger.
He’s my contribution to profanity and stress relief,
Fidel Castro, me cago en el recontraconisimo de la puta madre que te pario.
Espero que lo gusanos te coman vivo poco a poco empezando por el culo, para que por lo menos sufras un poco antes de morirte porque es lo minimo que te mereces por todo el singao dano que le has hecho a Cuba y su pueblo.
Good…I feel much better now.