un-Whole-ly Foods

Whenever conservatives have joined together to protest and boycott a company because they feel insulted by something the organization said or did, the left immediately labels them as knee-jerk reactionaries, intolerant of different opinions, and worst of all, attempting to impose their way of thinking on someone else. God forbid these conservatives be Cuban exiles protesting a person or company coddling the vile Cuban regime, for they earn not only the labels listed above, but they get “hardliners,” “intransigents,” and “supporters of the US backed dictator Batista,” piled on top. Sort of like whipped cream and nuts on top of your hate sundae.

You get a whole different set of adjectives whenever liberal yahoos do it, however. Whenever the left takes on someone who offends their delicate sensibilities they are considered to be socially conscious and heroes of the voiceless victims of imperialist pigs. Personally, I believe everyone–liberal yahoos and conservatives alike–has a right to protest and boycott anyone they choose, but what do I know, I am just an intransigent hardliner.

Case in point is the brouhaha going on now with the national chain of organic grocery stores, Whole Foods. It seems that its CEO, John Mackey, has strayed off the liberal plantation and his loyal clientele wants blood. Mackey had the audacity (of hope?) to write an Op-Ed piece in the WSJ criticizing ObamaCare and this, of course, does not sit well with the typical Whole Foods shopper. So incensed are they by Mackey’s stance that they are organizing a boycott of the store to show him just how offended they are by his attack on the most holy of them all, our beloved leader, Obama.

In this particular situation I say to these yahoos go ahead and boycott Whole Foods. Never again even cast a shadow on the entry to the store. And for good measure, stay at least 5 miles away from any Whole Foods location. Not only would you be expressing your disgust over the blasphemy committed by Mackey, but you will liberate me from having to deal with you every time I go to the Whole Foods market in my neighborhood.

I actually like the store and go there quite often. Their produce is as farm fresh as you can get without having to drive down to Homestead, and their meat–yes, their red, bloody meat–is actually quite good. It would be great to cruise through the aisles of Whole Foods without having to experience the scent of “natural body oils,” which have not seen water or soap for days, that graces the bodies of many typical Whole Foods shoppers.

And while we are on this topic, what is the deal with liberal yahoos and driving? How difficult can it be to navigate a Prius or a VW Wagon in or out of a parking space? Every time I pull into the parking lot of Whole Foods it is an excruciating experience. You have to sit and wait for what feels like an eternity for one or several huarache sandaled beatniks to maneuver their fossil fuel burning cars out of your way. I am hopeful that once this boycott is in full swing, the parking experience at Whole Foods will cease to be a test of my patience.

I am looking forward to this boycott and I sincerely hope it begins soon and lasts for a very long time. If I never have to stand in line behind another scruffily dressed, dread-locked, protein deficient skinny hippie chick with hairy armpits and a distinctive odor, it would be too soon.

13 thoughts on “un-Whole-ly Foods”

  1. You know, if anyone is critical of O’s health care plan, they are labeled as “against reform”, yet here’s a guy who is FOR reform, but against O’s “reform”, and he’s boycotted.

    Clearly, O’s supporters only believe there is one way to reform health care, and that is with national health.

    Britain’s National Health Service is the second largest employer in the world, second only to the PEOPLE’S ARMY OF CHINA. Can someone please tell me how you keep costs down with that kind of administrative yoke around the system’s neck?

  2. I have a Whole Foods in my neck of the woods and I love it, but some of those elderly hippies who go there give me the creeps.

  3. BTW: A leftist group has pressured companies into pulling ads from Glenn Beck’s FNC TV show (highly rated means massively viewed … so this is a dickhead move on their part) …


    Apparently this is because Beck dared call Obama a racist when he appeared on FNC’s a.m. show … not on his own afternoon show.

    So, it’s like ‘the hood’ … only certain people get to use certain words in America … the “N” word, racist … unAmerican.

    We have been hearing for like 3 weeks that the town hall protesters are racists, and anyone who opposes or speaks out against Obama are racists … IF you didn’t vote for Obama you were a racist … and the cop that arrested Obama’s buddy was a racist (according to the MSM and Obama’s use of guilt by association citing past racism in cops).

    It’s all bullshit … we’re all being forced to inhale it.

    The shitheads in this country are tickling the dragon … and they are going to get burned.

  4. PS

    Someone … anyone … anyone? … Bueller? … remind of anyone who put such pressure on companies to not advertise on any MSNBC show that called Bush/Cheney racists, especially in regard to Katrina, the Iraq war (brown-skinned people dying by white troops), and our not going into the Sudan because they’re just poor black people without oil …

  5. With as leftist as most Whole foods shoppers are, I’m suprised that they don’t sell books by Fidel and co.

    I would say that 50 % of the time I am in a Whole Foods (whose produce I love) – I see a Che t-shirt. I guess people are free to wear whatever they want … but what should exiles do when they start carrying the new “Che Beer”?

  6. Their will still be Sedanos, Publix, Tropical, Presidente, Winn-Dixie, (for my Jersey ppl) Shoprite, Pathmart. I’m starting to like Whole Foods, but I won’t necessarily miss it if it went. Remember Wild Oats?

  7. Good for Whole Foods! They’re the only place here en el centro de la peninsula where you can get a cheap case of coco water, an essential staple for perpetual lawn mowing and other mind-baking, electrolyte-depleting activities.

    As for GEICO departing Beck, bully for them! It’s one less hour per day I have to listen to that fake cockney accent. I’d like to take a pair of lineman’s pliers to that damned green lizard and to the Hollywood chulas that invented him. I, like most Americans, get a lot of junk mail. All of it goes in the trash except for GEICO, which is marked “REFUSED” and returned to them. Go away!

  8. Hopefully this means I’ve seen the last “Kucinich for President” bumper sticker in a Whole Foods parking lot.

Comments are closed.