The Obama Presidential Library

I was having some fun daydreaming of Obama’s not-soon-enough exit from the White House in January of 2013 and began wondering what his presidential library would like.

Just in case someone close to B.O. is reading this here’s a few suggestions:

As you first walk in you will find one of those big sealed glass cases like the one that houses the constitution at the National Archives, inside will be Obama’s birth certificate. Since it took the president two years to find it after he was elected, it has to be protected so that it’s not misplaced again.

Birth certificate to be protected like this.
Birth certificate to be protected like this.

Then you’ll file past the presidential golf clubs. This exhibit brought to you the people at Titleist highlights Obama’s greatest accomplishment in office: shaving two strokes from his handicap.


Then the there’s the Jeremiah Wright “God Damn America” pavilion where you learn that Obama is in fact a Christian but not the kind of Christian you immediately think of. When you walk out you’ll be very familiar with the tenets of black liberation theology.

The next room is dedicated to Obama’s revolutionary healthcare plan. It has a guest book where you can sign up to request a waiver.

To celebrate Obama’s foreign policy accomplishments you can pose for a picture with an animatronic Obama who will bow on command so you too can have something in common with every tinpot dictator or enemy of the United States.


And as you exit the library you’ll pass the empty case that houses the Obama debt plan of 2011.

I’m sure I missed a lot of possible exhibits. Please contribute your ideas in the comments.

BTW my buddy Giancarlo Sopo has been tapped to collect (soon to be worthless) dollars for the library from Cuban-Americans in Miami.


Let’s send a signal to Obama that we’re so excited about his presidential library to open that we can’t wait until 2017. It’s now or never.

6 thoughts on “The Obama Presidential Library”

  1. I love this and can’t wait to see everybody else’s suggestions.
    I’ll give one.
    On your way to visit the empty cases displaying the non existence of Obama deficit reducing plans, do not miss the press room where you will be charmed by infinite examples of Obama using the language of the right to explain why we must be a communist dictatorship. Side trips in this room will be videos of the many ways Obama described the Tea Party activists, conservatives in congress and talk radio as promoting hidden agendas of evil, selfish programs which make the rich richer and want everybody else to suffer and be ignored in poverty with no health care or education.
    Have fun taking tests to see how many examples you can discover of projection as Obama accuses conservatives of causing all the things that would actually result from progressive policies.
    Oh, hell, I’ll give another.
    On your way before you enter the gift shop of the museum, be sure to go to the foreign affairs room. You will need to have a special gravity suit and pulleys to visit here because everything in this room will be topsy turvey, upside down, and you will have to walk on the ceiling because that is the only way these exhibits will make any sense, all ideas being upside down from reality or truth.

  2. Te la comiste, Henry. I needed a good laugh and you certainly gave it to me with this. Keep it up!

  3. I agree with pecosa46 Henry, I needed a good laugh too, I love it!
    Here’s my entry: Displayed on a prominent wall, a huge bronze map of all 57 states. Below, a glass case containing replicas of BO’s magnificent gifts to foreign allies, including the iPod of his speeches to the Queen of England, etc. Captions next to each ‘gift’ are written in numerous languages, including Ebonics and Austrian.

  4. For symbolic purposes, representing the huge hole BO has put the US in, this entire library should be built in an enormous underground bunker as deep as the Grand Canyon…on second thought, maybe a bit deeper than that.

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