Received via email from a good friend, the true Cuban origins of Thanksgiving:
Today, as many of you celebrate with friends and family, you may be asking yourself: what would the pilgrims do? Let me assure you, you are asking precisely the wrong question. That’s like asking what OJ would do during an ethics seminar. Does anyone really think a holiday marked by copious over-eating, family revelations, emptying of untold bottles of alcohol and general happiness was started by the pilgrims? Please. These were people so uptight, the English kicked them out! No, the real, untold story is better. Because, like all good holidays, it involves a Cuban…
Sanguibin, today known as Thanksgiving, was originally started by San Guibin, a Cuban refugee who immigrated in 1572, later being canonized a saint for starting the holiday. Guibin arrived in the Miami-Dade County area, described then as “un pueblo de campo, la verdad” and was greeted by an unfamiliar people with distinct cultural traditions – native Americans.
While Squanto was still far off, La India was there to greet him. At first mistrustful of one another, Guibin and La India eventually worked in harmony – going as far as recording the song, “Vivir lo Nuestro”. Puerto Rican singer Marc Anthony would replace Guibin on a later version of the song. The area prospered, eventually spawning a popular mobile food delivery service known simply as “La Carreta” and a mass communications tower, 710 feet tall, known as “Torre Mambi – la grande”.
As time passed, Guibin, joined by other followers know as “Cuban political refugees” or “exiliados” and La India, who herself is the size of a small town, wanted to commemorate the anniversary of Guibin’s arrival. They rounded up a feast – pigs for lechon y chicharrones, moros y cristianos, platanos fritos – it was as if Guanabacoa had been transported to Miami-Dade County. That evening, Guibin followers could be heard exclaiming late into the night “Mira que este pais tiene cada cosa!” The Catholic church later canonized Guibin for his work to form cross-cultural ties and declared a holiday in his honor, Sanguibin.
Unfortunately, later Anglo-American scholars misinterpreted the spelling of Sanguibin, the characters and even the contents of the feast. This is where modern-day Thanksgiving comes from. From heaven, Guibin and his original followers could be heard stating “Coño, estos Americanos lo han cagado de nuevo.”
So enjoy your lechon asado or, if you prefer the American version, your turkey. We all have many things to be thankful for – friends, family, and a man named San Guibin.