There may not be enough milk or food in Venezuela, and we all know there is a dire shortage of toilet paper. But there is enough resources in Venezuela to pay the Cuban military to restore decades-old missiles in preparation for a war against… of course, the enemies of the revolution!
Venezuela Launches Cuban-Restored Missile
Today, the Venezuelan government conducted the test launch of an Otomat missile, model MK2.
Eighteen of these missiles have been restored, thanks to Cuban specialists, for use by Venezuela’s Bolivarian Armed Forces.
Venezuela’s appointed leader, Nicolas Maduro, announced the launch (and Cuba’s support) with much fanfare, as well as the upcoming restoration of AMX 3 light tanks and EE-11 Urutú armored personnel carriers.
What exactly is Cuba’s dictatorship arming Venezuela, which currently even has shortages of toilet paper, for?
There you go caballeros, your American 1972 Mk2 missiles are like new again, we even polished them with Collinite. From now on you will be untouchable and the only thing you and your whole crew of sailors will be drowning in is pussy, you just wait and see. Rest assure, the Yankees have not made anything better since then and we certainly do not service them with our revolutionary services so we are certain theirs are broken.
Was it hard? No, it was like restoring one of those 1958 Cadillacs we still have in Cuba; well, I take that back, I am being pretentious. Yes, it was extremely hard. One of my engineers had to pose as FBI to consult Nasa, we also had to pay the Yakuza to infiltrate Nintendo for the development of the control, and we even had to smuggle concentrated BS and WTF out of Guantanamo Naval Base using teleportation, that’s why it’s going to cost you 100 million dollars in free petroleum all totaling 6-8 billion dollars by 2020 like we agreed.
(Later that day among Cubans) Oye viejo, la verdad que esta gente es come mierda. Con el cuento de protegerlos del chiste de los Americanos se la estamos metiendo a Venezuela entera desde el 1999 y ni se enteran. Vamos, nos pagan.
A caso estos come mierdas no se acuerdan que nosotros no pudimos asegurar Centroamérica ni con los Rusos detrás? Ellos no necesitan ninguna de estas mierdas si el pueblo es hasta mas tonto que ellos. De verdad se creen que un Obama los va a atacar? Cuidado que por ahi vienen…