Paris Hilton and Conan O’Brien do Havana! ( Welcome to Babalu’s new “Week-End Update!”

week-end update

Amigos! Welcome to the premier of Babalu’s spanking new “Week-End Update!” Even at its prime (and with all that cocaine) the crackerjack Saturday Night Night writing team never brainstormed anything half as hilarious as what the Babalu team finds in the news about Cuba almost daily.

But all too often we laugh alone! So to let our many, many friends outside the Cuban-American informational ghetto in on our jokes this feature will always include a (very) brief footnote so we can all laugh together!

This week we’ll start with Conan O’Brien, who cannot get over (!!!) how “completely alone” (utterly free from from surveilance, apparently) he was left while filming his tourism infomercial for the Castro regime last week! (all quotes are genuine.)

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“I was shocked,” said O’Brien, “by how much we were left completely alone!”

Footnote: “My job was to bug their hotel rooms,” revealed high-ranking Cuban intelligence defector Delfin Fernandez. “Famous Americans are the priority objectives of Castro’s intelligence. When the celebrity visitors arrived at the hotels we already had their rooms completely bugged with sophisticated taping equipment.”

Now we move on to Paris Hilton partying hearty with Fidel Castro’s son in Havana this week-end:

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“Cuba BABY!…Loving Havana!..There’s some beautiful architecture here in Cuba!”

Footnote: Yes some of it was the Havana Hilton STOLEN by Castro at Soviet gunpoint from your great Grandfather Conrad Hilton, BABY!

Our friends at Townhall–as is so often the case–hop on an airhead celebrity issue hot in the news to educate folks who live outside the high walls of the Cuban-American informational ghetto.

Along with an estimated 637,000 people from the U.S. recently, Paris Hilton and Conan O’Brien somehow squeaked through the cracks of the diabolical U.S. “blockade” of Cuba for a visit to Havana. (Btw, in the 1950’ws when Cuba was a “U.S. tourist playground!” an average 200,000 Americans visited Cuba annually.)

From the Associated Press this week:

“Having seen a long-ago tape of (Jack Paar’s) historic visit just months into the regime of Fidel Castro, (Conan) O’Brien said, “We’ve got to go – right away!”

“It wasn’t as complicated as I thought it would be,” said “Conan” executive producer Jeff Ross, who reached a production liaison in Havana. “He said, ‘Just come. We’ll get you an invitation from the Cuban government. You’ll have the run of the place.'”

The 10-member troupe went in mid-February and spent several days in the Cuban capital.

“I was shocked,” said O’Brien, “by how much we were left completely alone.”

Oh! To be a fly on the wall of Castro’s secret police headquarters—with ear-protection of course, otherwise the roar of laughter and snorting, the cackling and gasping, the convulsed midriffs could easily be distracting.

“My job was to bug their hotel rooms,” revealed high-ranking Cuban intelligence defector Delfin Fernandez. “With both cameras and listening devices. Most people have no idea they are being watched while they are in Cuba. But their personal activities are filmed under orders from Castro himself….famous Americans are the priority objectives of Castro’s intelligence.”….”When the celebrity visitors arrived at the hotels Nacional, Meliá Habana and Meliá Cohiba,” continues Fernandez, “we already had their rooms completely bugged with sophisticated taping equipment. But not just the rooms, we’d also follow the visitors around, sometimes we covered them 24 hours a day. They had no idea we were tailing them.”

“Cuba Baby!…Loving old Havana!” Paris Hilton posted on Social media this week.

2 thoughts on “Paris Hilton and Conan O’Brien do Havana! ( Welcome to Babalu’s new “Week-End Update!””

  1. I see Naomi Campbell was in on this with Paris; how appropriate. I would have expected Tony Castro, by all accounts a high-living playboy, to be the one “hosting” foreign celebrity trash instead of his older and very dull-looking half-brother. I suppose they decided to use “Fidelito” because he looks more like his father, so it’s like a younger Fidel for photo-op purposes (and to give the gringo market what it apparently likes).

    Anyway, the Castro people don’t even need to monitor clearly sympathetic visitors, who are absolutely no threat but quite the opposite. As for O’Brien, he should really consider “transitioning” like Bruce Jenner–he’d look more normal as a woman, albeit a very homely one. And yes, the freak show continues…

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