Normalization circus update: super-sizing the apartheid nightmare

Well, you knew this was next, didn’t you?  Didn’t we all see this coming?

Could anyone find a better way to make the Normalization Circus permanent than a gigantic American-built theme park in the Castro Kingdom, replete with apartheid hotels and costumed figures of Fidel, Raul, Che, and Camilo walking around, posing for photos with foreign visitors?

Apparently, those who are dreaming this up are dead serious, and they are thinking big.  This nightmare wonderland would be the second largest in the world, bigger than any of the Disney parks.

No mention has been made of casinos on the grounds, but you can bet your bottom dollar that they are part of the plan.

The identity of the “well-known U.S. giant” developer has not been revealed.

Yeah.  Welcome to the future of the slave island plantation formerly known as Cuba.

Welcome to CastroLand

For some of us older exiles, the only consolation offered by these plans is that when the park opens five years from now, we might be dead and gone and won’t have to lay eyes on news stories about this monstrousity or ads inviting Americans to visit it.

Suggestion for meditation: imagine yourself — or anyone — visiting a theme park anywhere with costumed mass murderers posing for photos with visitors:  Stalin, Hitler, Pol Pot, Mao, Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein, etc..  Or imagine yourself as an employee of this park,  serving the needs of foreign visitors,  having 92 percent of your wages claimed by your government.

Future Cuban theme park characters

From The Independent

American leisure giant submits plans for new theme park in Cuba
The controversial plans would include rollercoasters, a water park, zoo and six hotels

Following President Barack Obama’s watershed visit to Cuba last month, the Caribbean island is moving one step closer to harmony with its northern neighbour. An application has been submitted for what will become the world’s second-largest theme park, on the island’s north coast, around an hour’s drive east of popular holiday resort Varadero.

Challenging the size and scale of Dubailand, currently under construction in the emirate’s desert, the park will be operated by a well-known, US-based giant and will feature several zones, including a waterpark, zoo and welcome area celebrating the island’s culture, as well as six hotels, dozens of restaurants and retail outlets.

Currently, the closest Cuba comes to a theme park is The World of Fantasy, a state-run park on the outskirts of Santiago de Cuba, that was badly damaged by Hurricane Sandy four years ago. It features model dinosaurs and rockets, fruit-shaped huts and a bizarre clown-face entrance – not one for coulrophobics. Meanwhile, Cayo Saetia – on the north coast near Holguin – is an artificial island repurposed as a safari park, complete with zebras, ostriches and antelopes. Not exactly native to this corner of the Caribbean.

Cuba’s new addition will feature a rollercoaster with a whopping 15 inversions, an ice-maiden themed hotel, parades, shows and nightly firework displays. Revolutionary Road, a working title for the entrance area of the park, will feature meet-and-greets with the operator’s fictional characters and historic costumed figures from Cuba’s recent history, while Cayo Castro will house a sprawling water park, with water-based attractions, flumes and Cuban-themed restaurants. Hemingway’s Hideaway is likely to feature in at least one of the hotels – an adults-only bar serving the island’s celebrated cocktail, the daiquiri.

While the operator has yet to be named, it is expected that – pending planning application decisions – construction on the park will commence in 2018, for completion by 1 April 2021.

Main character of future theme park

8 thoughts on “Normalization circus update: super-sizing the apartheid nightmare”

  1. Slight correction: the black Mammy types with the cigars are ALREADY characters in the theme park known as Cuba, and they have been for some time.

  2. Oh, and Carlos, you need to get over yourself, like the rest of “those people.” You’re not on the approved victim list. You’re not entitled to be offended. Remember, the lives of Cubans like you do NOT matter. Just ask Charlie Rangel, who’ll have to do in lieu of Nelson Mandela.

  3. Once again, the underlying concept of Cuba (and its tragedy) as a glorified joke for the rest of the world is affirmed. Why wouldn’t the likes of Fidel and Che be treated like Daffy Duck and Mickey Mouse? It’s just a joke, son; don’t you get it? Just chill out and have a good time. In other words, think Canadian.

  4. And by the way, due credit should be given to Stella McCartney for pioneering this idea. Remember the party favors gotten up as Fidel and Che? The girl’s a genius, or something.

  5. Lots of plans–but what if Cruz wins? All these “openings” (loopholes to Helm-Burton) can be walked back by executive order and/or challenged in court…we’ll see.

  6. It goes without saying that the parties behind this project are confident they will meet with no significant PR or PC problems, that they expect plenty of takers, and that they don’t give a shit about what Cubans (especially “those people”) may think or feel. I suppose such open HIJEPUTEZ is preferable to a more covert variety, so there is that. Like they say, thank goodness for small favors.

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