Gosh? Why Don’t Sharks EVER attack Cubans ??? (According to the Discovery Channel)

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Let a swimmer anywhere on earth get his pinkie nipped by a shark and the Discovery Channel is ALL OVER IT–especially during its famous Shark Week.

The Discovery Channel well knows that nothing cranks up viewer ratings like blood and gore. Indeed, Discovery’s immensely popular Shark Week grew to its “Megalodon” dimensions while employing a simple—but foolproof –principle: stress shark-attacks, shark-attacks, shark-attacks. To wit:

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“Getting attacked by a shark just might be the scariest event in nature!” gasps a Discovery Channel narrator and beams a Discovery Channel headline all during Shark Week.

“Top Twenty Shark Attack Stories!” Discovery’s website promotes with 19 different videos. 

“Are North Carolina Beaches Safe?” asks a Discovery news headline last year.

“Searching for Monstrous Sharks Near Cuba,” is how ABC headlined last year’s Discovery program titled “Tiburones de Cuba” (Cuba’s Sharks).

“Seventy years ago, a great white measured at 21-feet long (that’s almost literally Jaws himself) was captured off the coast of Cuba. The largest white shark ever caught, it was dubbed ‘El Monstruo.’” That’s how Yahoo TV headlines this week’s Discovery show.

And yet on their very blockbuster from Cuba last summer–focusing on an area of the world that must witness among the most shark attacks on earth—on this very program the Discovery producers do not mention a SINGLE shark molesting a SINGLE human being.

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For Cuba-watchers, an explanation for this neck-wrenching and whip-lashing 180 degrees by Discovery’s producers comes to mind:

Upon viewing a Shark Week segment featuring shark attacks off Cuba, some people might ask themselves:

Gosh? But why is it that for over half a century so many thousands upon thousands upon thousands of Cubans have risked the “scariest event in nature” in these waters simply to escape the free and fabulous healthcare the media keeps telling us is the primary feature of life in Castro’s Cuba?”

Important item: The Discovery Channel is a major business partner of the Castro regime.

In brief: Even people with the intellectual candlepower of liberals would start drawing some painfully politically-incorrect conclusions about life in the hellhole Castroism has created.

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“Le ZZZUMBA!!!” (says Bill Maher)

This writer, on the other hand, was able to locate many, many shark attack victims from among the tens of thousands of Cubans who have braved these very same waters desperately fleeing free and fabulous healthcare and nonstop dancing parties. Indeed over twenty times as many people have died attempting to flee Conan O’Brien’s “World-Capital-of-Fun!” than died trying to escape East Germany.

Australia recorded 56 fatal shark attacks between 1956 and 2008!” gasps Discovery’s Shark Week narrators. “Find out what it’s like from people who’ve lived to tell the tale!”

“The Florida Straits probably record 56 fatal shark attacks every few years,” says Florida Key’s resident Matt Lawrence, who spent years flying rescue missions of desperate Cuban rafters.

“Probably that many every month during the early 90s,” adds Matt’s friend, Bay of Pigs veteran Arturo Cobo, who ran the rafter rescue center in Key West and for years heard the sobbing, gut-gripping details of these attacks almost daily.

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Le RRRRONCA!!!

1 thought on “Gosh? Why Don’t Sharks EVER attack Cubans ??? (According to the Discovery Channel)”

  1. Oh, please. Who cares if Cubans wind up as shark food? It’s just animals eating animals. Move along.

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