A little bit of satire to brighten your Sunday afternoon courtesy of The Plantain.
Fabuloso Sprayed From Planes To Combat Mosquitoes
Beware, bloodsuckers: Miami-Dade County has a new weapon in its arsenal to combat the ever-growing hordes of mosquitoes responsible for spreading the Zika virus across South Florida.
Beginning in August, the county began spraying lavender Fabuloso cleaning solution from airplanes in an effort to obliterate the local mosquito population once and for all.
Fabuloso, a flowery-smelling neon purple cleaning solution, is reputed by many area residents to cleanse any kind of malefactor present in a home, including bacteria, viruses, small insects, residue from gossipy visitors and evil spirits.
Miami-Dade County’s Mosquito Control Division spokeswoman Jessica Clark said Fabuloso is predicted to be the department’s most effective chemical yet.
“In our testing, as soon as the Fabuloso touched the mosquitoes, they immediately sizzled and melted into a tiny ball of insect guts and half-digested human blood,” Clark said. “We’re really excited about this.”
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