Cuba’s “new” constitution: A modest set of suggestions from the exile community

That’s right, comrade elves and fairies living in exile! We invite you to participate in the constitutional project debate!”

King Raul and the knights of his Round Table have drafted a new constitution and asked for input from Cuban exiles.

Yeah.  They want to enter into “dialogue” with the exile community.


Here is a modest thirteen-point contribution to this “dialogue” from our Magic Cupcakes and Rainbow Unicorns Bureau

1. Scrap this phony “new” constitution immediately and call for a REAL constitutional congress in which dissidents and exiles can participate.

2. Remove all members of the Communist Party from office immediately.

3. Arrest Raul Castro and everyone else who has held positions of high authority since January of 1959, up until the present.

4. Try Raul Castro in a court of law for his crimes against humanity, along with all those still alive who helped him and his brother Fidel remain in power through violence and intimidation. .

5. Free all political prisoners immediately.

6. Return to its rightful owners all of the property stolen from them by the Castro regime.

7. Establish freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, and freedom of the press immediately.

8. Establish full access to the internet in Cuba immediately.

9. Disband all government monopolies and ministries and allow for the creation of private enterprise and private schools immediately.

10. Disband all Committees for the Defense of the Revolution immediately.

11. Allow the creation of new political parties and hold free elections as soon as possible in which exiles can run for office and vote – and, in addition,  ensure international supervision of the election process.

12. Allow the creation of labor unions immediately.

13. Allow the United Nations to distribute boxes of Kellogg’s new Unicorn cereal to every Cuban on the island and in exile.

2 thoughts on “Cuba’s “new” constitution: A modest set of suggestions from the exile community”

  1. Carlos, you obviously misread the memo. Castrogonia wants input from Cubanoids, not “those people.”

  2. How can number 6 happen? If there is any hope of rebuilding a free Cuba, the money the Castros stole in toto must be gained access to and used for the reconstruction.
    I would like Navy Seals to take all methods of escape away from Raul and then arrange for the full cabinet to be arrested and Raul be allowed to live as long as he gives up every penny he stole.

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