From our Celebrity Cretins Without a Conscience Bureau
Hollywood stars Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones and their two children are paying a thrilling visit to one of the world’s poorest and most repressive countries, the Kingdom of Castrogonia.
Naturally, as is their birthright, the whole family is slumming in style, enjoying all the perks of the country’s apartheid tourist facilities, including one of its golf courses.
Yes, believe it or not, there are golf courses in Castrogonia, even though the sport is one of the most expensive of all pastimes and way, way beyond the reach of 99.99 percent of Cubans.
Mrs. Douglas even posed for photos on the golf course, in a very short skirt outfit that cost more than the annual salary of all Cubans, except for the oligarchs, of course. Never mind how much it might cost to play on that course.
And, as is required of all celebrities who vacation in Castrogonia, the family took a tour of Havana in an ancient American convertible.
Having enjoyed their slumming, the Hollywood family also made sure through Instagram and the tabloid press that the whole world could be aware of their stylish bucket-list trip to one of the coolest human zoos on earth.
Oh, the thrill of it all. How wonderful to be a superior human being! How awesome to be able to ogle at inferior sub-humans in their natural environment.
Why….it’s just like going to a Safari park! Look, Catherine, human monkeys! Let’s go have some mow-hee- tows and get our photo taken with one of those cigar ladies!
From the world’s classiest tabloid, the one and only Daily Mail.
She’s been enjoying quite the lavish Christmas and New Year celebration with her family, having travelled to the Honduran island of Roatán before jetting off to Cuba.
And Catherine Zeta Jones, 49, and her husband Michael Douglas, 74, appeared to be having quite the enjoyable trip on their latest stop, as the actress took to Instagram to share a shot of themselves posing with their children Carys, 15, and Dylan, 18.
As well as the heartwarming snapshot, which showed the glamorous family posing before a bright pink wall, Oscar-winning Chicago star Catherine also uploaded an eye-catching clip of herself playing golf in a decidedly short skirt.
In the family snapshot, Welsh beauty Catherine looked typically glamorous, wearing a cream pussy bow top with patterned satin harem pants and a wide-brimmed hat.
Casually clad in a salmon shorts with a black T-shirt, brown hiking shoes and a baseball cap, fellow Oscar winner Michael proudly posed beside his wife as he held a sketch of himself, presumably drawn by a local street artist.
A few hours later, Catherine returned to her Instagram Story to share a brief clip of herself clad in all-black golfing attire — which included a daringly short skirt — as she bent over in front of the camera to place her golf ball on the tee.
The screen star also uploaded a video of her daughter sitting in the back of a vintage car as she took in the sights and delights of Cuba.
With the Spanish-speaking Caribbean island’s breathtaking architecture taking centre stage, the Swansea native captioned the video: ‘A cultural tour… artists, artisans, musicians, and a love of the people.’
Catherine and her family arrived in Cuba after celebrating Christmas and welcoming in the New Year on the Caribbean Bay island of Roatán, where they partied on the beach while bidding farewell to 2018.