Unhappy Birthday: Raúl Castro Ruz, King of Cuba, turns 89

Yo, el Rey, hijo de Lina

From our Bureau of Monstrous Births

The blood-drenched old fart is now 89 years old and a few steps closer to joining his brother Fidel in Hell.

Oh, but this son of Lina Ruz isn’t dead yet, and remains on the throne, despite his creation of two puppet golems with hollow titles: One a synthetic “president” and the other an ethereal “prime minister” neither of which can really do diddly squat, except to pose for photos with foreign dignitaries, chair bogus meetings in which the outcome of the discussion has been predetermined, or spout nonsense on television about lemonade and microwave ovens as the country goes down the tubes and its people starve or are mowed down by the plague.

Carlos Cabrera Perez has posted a fitting tribute to the King in CiberCuba. Below is a handful of blistering paragraphs.

Japi berrsdei tu mi, japi berrsdei tu mi…japi berrsdei bellaco, japi berrsdei tu mi

Raúl Castro Ruz is turning 89 years old with Cuba stuck in the hole that helped dig with those toasts for Stalin, and which he widened with his fear in the face of the Obama wave and the freezing of the reforms that would have allowed the country to face the crisis aggravated by the coronavirus with political legitimacy and economic rationality, which are the best antidotes to the communism of compadres that he has been observing since the Second Front in the late 1950’s…

…Ten months after his announced retirement, Cuba barely produces and exports anything, except emigrants of two categories: The Cuban who wants to leave, including the aspiring gusañeros, and the health brigade disguised as an internationalist humanitarians, subjected by the dictatorship with the wage funnel law , 80% for the regime and 20% for the worker…

…The Castro bastard (El bellaco de los Castro), as he jokingly calls himself, has been running the family farm since 2006 and the results of his administration are in full view of everyone in the National Television Newscast with lightning-fast trials and expeditious convictions of economic entrepreneurs who sell to people what the communist state has been denying them for decades…

… The ugly duckling of the Cuban revolution has survived all his charismatic and attractive companions, starting with his brother Fidel and continuing with Camilo Cienfuegos and Che Guevara, with whom he walked to the stern of Granma because they did not know the name of the yacht. The Argentine has been more useful after death…

… One can have good ideas, even a reformist will, but one should never stay halfway and Raúl Modesto Castro Ruz has been paralyzed before the sabotage of the powerful Castro bureaucracy and his most persistent fear: I have nowhere to hide …

Read the whole thing HERE in Spanish

2 thoughts on “Unhappy Birthday: Raúl Castro Ruz, King of Cuba, turns 89”

  1. Carlos, you’re losing a certain critical nuance in your translation to English of the phrase coined by Lydia Cabrera, who had to find a ladylike way to refer to the Castro bastards, and came up with “hijos de Lina.” As it happens, while they both fit that description, it is highly likely that only the older one was hijo de Castro.

    And by the way, bellaco does not mean bastard. It means something like rogue or scoundrel. The old fart calls himself that to imply he’s somehow “cool.”

  2. As for the “Prime Minister,” I wouldn’t call him ethereal (unless you meant insubstantial and flimsy), as he is anything but that corporeally–meaning he’s a fat pig.

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