“We will be like CHE! (Guevara)”–INDEED! (“Antifa “commander” carrying flame-thrower dropped into fetal position and burst into tears upon arrest,” reports NY Post–not unlike Antifa’s very idol, the blustering, chest-pounding Che Guevara, who whimpered “DON’T SHOOT!–I’M CHE!” upon his PROMPT surrender with fully-loaded weapons on the day he FINALLY faced GENUINE combat.

“An Antifa leader known as Commander Red was busted carrying a flamethrower to a Wisconsin Black Lives Matter rally — and “dropped into the fetal position and began crying” when stopped by cops, officials said.

Matthew Banta, 23, is “known to be a violent Antifa member who incites violence in otherwise relatively peaceful protests,” a criminal complaint in his Green Bay arrest record insisted, (more here.)

On his second to last day alive and under hot pursuit by Green Beret-trained Bolivian soldiers, Che Guevara ordered his guerrilla charges to give no quarter, to fight to the last breath and to the last bullet. “Che drummed it into us,” recalls Cuban guerrilla Dariel Alarcon, who indeed fought to his last bullet in Bolivia, escaped back to Cuba, defected, and today lives in Paris. “Never surrender,” Che always stressed. “Never, never!” He drilled it into us almost every day of the guerrilla campaign. “A Cuban revolutionary cannot surrender!” Che thundered. “Save your last bullet for yourself!”

With his men doing exactly that, Che snuck away from the firefight, crawled towards the Bolivian soldiers doing the firing—then as soon as he spotted two of them at a distance, stood and yelled: “Don’t Shoot! I’m Che! I’m worth more to you alive than dead!”

His captor’s official Bolivian army records that they took from Ernesto “Che” Guevara: a fully-loaded PPK 9mm pistol. But it was only after his (obviously voluntary) capture that Che segued into full Eddie-Haskell-Greeting-June-Cleaver-Mode. “What’s your name, young man?!” Che quickly asked one of his captors. “Why what a lovely name for a Bolivian soldier!”

So what will they do with me?” Che, obviously desperate to ingratiate himself, also asked Bolivian Captain Gary Prado. “I don’t suppose you will kill me. I’m surely more valuable alive….And you Captain Prado!” Che commended his captor. “You are a very special person! …I have been talking to some of your men. They think very highly of you, captain!..Now, could you please find out what they plan to do with me?”

From that stage on, Che Guevara’s fully-documented Eddie Haskell-isms only get more uproarious (or nauseating.) 

“Che sure TALKED a good one”

“Le RRRONCA!”

1 thought on ““We will be like CHE! (Guevara)”–INDEED! (“Antifa “commander” carrying flame-thrower dropped into fetal position and burst into tears upon arrest,” reports NY Post–not unlike Antifa’s very idol, the blustering, chest-pounding Che Guevara, who whimpered “DON’T SHOOT!–I’M CHE!” upon his PROMPT surrender with fully-loaded weapons on the day he FINALLY faced GENUINE combat.”

  1. “Commander Red” looks too classic–a classic maladjusted and total DORK, not to say weirdo, who seized upon the Antifa thing as a way to “validate” his very sorry pasty-white ass.

    You can’t make this shit up.

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