Shocking! Cuba’s fake president admits Cuba has no food because its laws are inadequate

From our Bureau of Heretical Socialist Blame-Shifting

How’s this for an unexpected slip of the tongue? Fake president Trucutú Díaz-Canel told Castro, Inc.’s fake parliament yesterday that Cuba has run out of food because its laws don’t work and need to be rewritten.

Whoa! Ñññoooooo! Hey, what about the “blockade”? It seems Trucutú forgot about excuse number one in Castro, Inc.’s playbook: Never blame any problems on our laws. He was supposed to blame the “blockade” And if he had wanted to assign blame to any other causes he should have berated the Cuban people for being lazy slugs who lack the proper “Revolutionary” spirit.

To blame the laws drawn up by Castro, Inc. is to admit that Castrosocialism doesn’t work. Might he be disciplined for spouting such a heresy? Stay tuned.

Di problem is di ló, no di blokéi orr di leisi Kiubans

Loosely translated from CiberCuba

Cuban figurehead ruler Miguel Díaz-Canel affirmed this Tuesday that there is no food, livestock or fish in Cuba, during a speech at the regular session of the National Assembly of People’s Power on the economic plan for 2023.

The problem is that we have three laws: we have a Food Sovereignty Law, and there is no food; we are going to approve a Livestock Promotion Law, and there are no cattle; and we have a Fisheries Law, and there are no fish, admitted the president, thereby revealing one of the cardinal problems of the country’s economy: its inefficient production system.

“If we produce more food, then we need to buy less food,” Díaz-Canel acknowledged in his speech. “We have to move in that direction, because we have the potential. What needs to be better articulated, have a governance system to follow all those things and to solve a problem; It may sound like a joke, but it really isn’t, which sometimes makes us laugh like many things we do”.

When addressing the parliamentarians, he warned: “We have already gone ahead with the laws, now we have to ensure that these laws are not so that we are expressing them here in figures of fines and in figures of restrictions, and that we put so many fines for so much theft and sacrifice, or that we put so many fines for violation of the land or illegal fishing”.

The purpose, according to the president, is to ensure that “we evaluate the Food Sovereignty Law here, so that there is more food on the table of Cubans, and what we have to achieve with the Livestock Promotion Law is that it really promotes the cattle that we need in the country so as not to depend on imports and to have meat on the Cuban table”.

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3 thoughts on “Shocking! Cuba’s fake president admits Cuba has no food because its laws are inadequate”

  1. He may have overdosed on something. This kind of frankness, even though it’s no more than admitting the obvious, is a breach of orthodoxy. Of course, I suppose it’s possible somebody figured that nobody believes the old BS by now, so maybe it’s better to at least appear to be getting real, even if it’s still just hollow talk.

    It’s conceivable the real power has decided things have deteriorated so much that they must switch gears to avoid collapse. Nobody’s thinking of a free Cuba, but something like China, Vietnam or Russia.

  2. No Carlos you don’t understand. Don’t get your hopes up! The embargo is causing the Cuba laws not to work. It is also causing the Cuban Assembly to pass defective laws. It is causing all the Cuba leadership to have erroneous ideas. It is even causing Diaz-Canal to es pea key the English with such a bad accent. It goes without saying that the embargo is still the main problem.

    The embargo is like a magic spell that allows free trade in essentials but that paralysis all productive activity in Cuba. It makes food rot and causes dengue fever.

    Cubans all believe in magic, otherwise the nation would not be communist.

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