Happy World Mojito Day! Get zonked, celebrate totalitarianism and apartheid, and lose weight simultaneously

From our Bureau of Annoying Coincidences with some assistance from our Bureau of Immensely Popular Apartheid Cocktails

Hey, quick, grab yourself a Mow-Hee-Tow, as Canadians, Brits, Australians, Americans and other English-speaking tourists would say.

Whether or not this date was intentionally chosen as “World Mojito Day” after Cuba’s July 11 protests two years ago, the results of celebrating this Cuban drink worldwide on this very special day are painfully ironic.

No other cocktail on earth is as closely associated with totalitarianism and apartheid as the Mow-Hee-Tow! Could it have achieved its worldwide fame without tourists who have vacationed in Castrogonia? Most probably not.

So, join all leftists and willfully ignorant twits worldwide, and revel in the irony of this holiday coinciding with the anniversary of the crushing of the Cuban people by Castro, Inc.. Pretend you’re a tourist at Hotel Mojito on Cayo Coco, a four-star luxury resort. Gulp down as many Mow-Hee-Tows as possible to celebrate apartheid tourism and the eternal inferiority of the Cuban people, whose sole purpose on earth is to serve superior human beings who seek dream holidays on their island .

And enjoy the side benefit of weight loss as you get zonked. Check out this article that “explores the reasons why Mojito could help your weight loss journey.” As this website says, “grab a glass and read on!”

How appropriate. Slim yourself down to look like a starving Cuban! Life doesn’t get any more ironic than this! 

1 thought on “Happy World Mojito Day! Get zonked, celebrate totalitarianism and apartheid, and lose weight simultaneously”

  1. You can bet making mojitos is included in the mixology activities for the Spanish influencers flown to Cuba to promote tourism there. It was also featured in the visit by then Prince Charles as his vulgar-looking wife.

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