Cuban dictatorship says new economic reforms will be delayed until ‘right conditions are in place’

Geniuses in panic mode at the Council of State in Havana

From our Bureau of Fainting Spells at the Ministry of Truth with some assistance from our Bureau of Communicational Prestidigitation in Socialist Latrine American Totalitarian Hellholes

Ay, mami! Tremendo rollo. What a mess! We said we were going to fix everything with a new economic plan, but we just realized that the plan won’t work and might actually hasten our demise! Sagrada mierda de los puercos endemoniados del evangelio de San Marcos!

Yeah. Holy shit from the demon-possessed pigs in St. Mark’s Gospel! (Mark 5:1–5:13) We like be in trouble here, dude. We’ve got to come up with some excuse for our delay . . . quick, dude . . . Yeah, yeah . . . Like, man, we have to wait until conditions are just right! Yeah, that’s it . . . and we don’t have to say what those conditions might be . . .Genius, pure Einstein-like genius. Quick, get some smelling salts for the Ministry of Truth. Rapido! Apurate, coño. . .Their panic-attack-induced fainting spell has lasted too long. Time for them to get back to spinning the truth for us, dude. . .

Loosely translated from CiberCuba

The Cuban government assured that it will not apply the measures of the economic readjustment package that it has pending to execute “until the conditions created in the country are not in place,” according to what Cuban Prime Minister Manuel Marrero Cruz said in a meeting of the Council of State.

In a report by the official Granma newspaper about the meeting that was dedicated to examining “compliance with the schedule of the implementation process of the Government’s measures to correct distortions and boost the economy during the year 2024,” it was reported that “on January 15 As of February 15, the work system for monitoring and controlling this issue has been consolidated.”

With the presence of the ruler Miguel Díaz-Canel Bermúdez, the Cuban leaders spoke of strengthening strategies between micro, medium and small businesses (MSMEs) and the state sector, “with a view to achieving greater offers to the people, based on their joint potential in food production, internal trade, import substitution.”

The Cuban president referred to his recent visits to several Cuban provinces, in which in addition to gaining followers, he said he had found experiences “that should become the rule and not exceptions.”

The president of the Council of State and the National Assembly of Cuba, Esteban Lazo Hernández, defended the measures as those capable of “solving existing problems,” and admitted that they were taken “in a complex context,” although he justified that the objective was “to defend the work and the main achievements of the Revolution, and to protect the population.”

On February 1, the Cuban government announced that it was extending the update of fuel prices, as well as the marketing in USD, due to a cyber attack that the CIMEX corporation received.

“The decision is due to a cybersecurity attack on the CIMEX marketing system. The Vice Minister of Economy and Planning reported just minutes ago that it was caused by a virus from abroad,” detailed official journalist Lázaro Manuel Alonso on his Facebook wall.

Days later, Díaz-Canel dismissed Alejandro Gil Fernández as Minister of Economy and Planning, and embarked on a tour of the country’s provinces, in a desperate movement to try to calm the negative states of opinion that have emerged among Cubans.

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