Carlos Eire

From our Bureau of Breaking Stories Not Reported by Any News Media with some assistance from our Bureau of Shameless Hypocritical Acts Orchestrated by Oligarchs from Latrine American Totalitarian Atheistic Hellholes

Okay, in a court of law this would be classified as “hearsay.” Tres Fotutos has no solid proof he can offer, other than his word. But this event has definitely been announced very quietly in select Catholic circles.

Yesterday, Tres Fotutos was contacted by a journalist from a Catholic publication who revealed to him that they had been assigned to cover a very special event this coming Sunday in New York City.

The event involves Cuba’s fake president Trucutú Diaz-Canel and an entourage of Cuban diplomats and bodyguards.

According to the above-mentioned journalist — who needs to remain anonymous — Trucutú and his entourage will be present at a celebration of the imminent beatification of 19th-century Cuban priest Felix Varela, who is well on is way to being recognized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church. You can count on many paparazzi to be present, as was the case when King Raul visited Pope Francis at the Vatican.

Read more

From our Bureau of Tropical Brainwashing at the Beach with some assistance from our Bureau of State-Sponsored Terrorist Training

Castro, Inc. has always been immensely interested in destabilizing nations in Latin America and Africa. One way it achieves its goal is by bringing youngsters from those regions to Cuba and putting them through intense brainwashing programs.

Naturally, Castro, Inc. hardly ever pays for these programs. It’s the other countries who provide the funding, either willingly or blindly. Back in the good old days of the Soviet Union, money from Moscow got these programs off the ground. Nowadays, as is the case with Castro, Inc.’s medical education programs, it is Third World countries that foot the bill.

Read more

From our Bureau of Inevitable Outcomes with some assistance from our Bureau of Grossly Wrong Assumptions Accepted as Facts by Grossly Senile Heads of State

Assuming that Castro, Inc. actually allows Cubans to own and run businesses wholly independent from its total monopoly, Jar-Jar Biden and his bevy of Marxist elves at the White House, State Department, and Treasury are ready to grant loans to so-called “self-employed” Cuban entrepreneurs.

Lord have mercy. This is tantamount to granting credit to Castro, Inc., which is also tantamount to “lifting the blockade/embargo” and ensuring that American taxpayers end up funding Cuba’s deadbeat terrorist-sponsoring dictatorship.

Is this move worse than the original 2016 Obamapalooza? Could be. Seems like it. This move will most definitely throw a lifeline to Castro, Inc., which tightly controls all so-called “self-employed” entrepreneurs.

This was inevitable. As inevitable as the thousands of illegal aliens pouring into the U.S. day after day. The only question left to ask is whether Jar-Jar Biden still has enough of a functioning brain to direct all of this, or he is way past the point when he can be aware of the mayhem his Marxist handlers are causing.

Read more

From our Bureau of Latrine American Parades From Hell

You have to admit, Mexico’s president loves to flaunt his love of dictatorships. Ironically, he displayed that love flagrantly last Saturday by including four murderous dictatorships in his country’s Independence Day celebrations.

You also have to admit, this stunt was an extreme display of Latrine America’s Latrinity at its very worst. Absolutely revolting stunt, as nauseating as the smell of the worst imaginable latrine.

See for yourself in slide show above and in this official Mexican government VIDEO

Read more

From our Bureau of Obscenities with some assistance from our Fuhggedaboudit Bureau and our Geddoutaheere Bureau

As for a definition of “Bronx cheer”: A loud, abrasive, spluttering noise made with the lips and tongue to express contempt; A loud noise, imitating a fart, made with the lips and tongue and expressing derision or contempt. Also called a “raspberry”.

Read more

From our Bureau of Weaponized Migrations with some assistance from our Bureau of Black Holes That Swallow Migrants

A Cuban migrant currently stuck in Mexico said this past week that staying in the Mexican city of Tapachula was like “entering a black hole that swallows migrants.” See story below.

An unstoppable wave of Cubans keep entering Mexico, hoping to be granted asylum in the U.S. Many of these Cubans get to Mexico by flying to Nicaragua. Others get there by trekking much longer distances from Venezuela or Colombia, crossing the treacherous Darien Gap in Panama.

Cubans are clogging up that passage too. The U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees announced this week that 360,000 migrants have passed through the Darien jungle this year. To put this number into perspective, the total number for all of 2022 — which broke all records — was “only” 250,000.

With three and a half more months remaining in 2023, it is highly likely that the total number for this year could reach 450,000. Many of these migrants are Cuban.

Read more

Not very well written, even hard to understand these messages hanging from wires over Havana‘s streets, but they are nonetheless eloquent, despite ther poor grammar and sloppy calligraphy.

Left: “Eight months without water through pipes and no solution for us with Havana’s water.”

Right: “Neighborhood 4 without water. Leaks in Los Pinos, Pezuela, F & 27, K & 27, and others. For us, [nothing but] watching and waiting. Until when? Peace is respecting the rights of others.”

And… also last week: eloquent graffiti on the wall of Communist Party headquarters in the town of Morón, Ciego de Avila. Needs no translation:

Read more

From our Bureau of Twenty-First Century Neoslavery with some assistance from our Bureau of Socialist Pedagogical Ethics

Doctors and nurses are not the only kind of slaves that Castro, Inc. rents out to other nations. This news story brings to light another slaving scheme that normally doesn’t attract attention.

Sending slave teachers to the Bahamas while Cuba is facing a severe shortage of teachers is bad enough, and worthy of censure, but sending teachers to an English-speaking country who can’t really teach in English is even worse. This glaring bit of chicanery on the part of Castro, Inc. proves that the dictatorship is not only morally bankrupt, but that it’s much-praised educational system is really awful.

Complaints from locals who are served by Castro, Inc.’s slaves are frequent. It happens with slave doctors, and, as this story proves, also happens with teachers. They are usually deficient in various ways, and unqualified.

Read more

From our Migrants ‘R Us Bureau, with some assistance from our Bureau of Close Cooperation Between Latrine American Totalitarian Hellholes

No doubt about it, Nicaragua’s dictatorship is making it possible for Castro, Inc. to send thousands of Cubans to the United States.

Cuban flights to Nicaragua are filled to capacity and the demand for more flights keeps growing. These Cubans who hope to make it to the U.S. through the Mexican border are fleeing in record numbers, taking advantage of the fact that Nicaragua does not require Cubans to have visas. Most of these Cubans buy one-way tickets.

Obviously, this is nothing more than a continuation of what occurred in 2022, when over 300,000 Cubans fled from the island. Castro, Inc. has much to gain from this strategic weaponization of migration: It not only gets rid of potential malcontents, but also gets to reduce the number of mouths to feed, and, at the same time, increase the number of diaspora Cubans who will send money and gifts to their relatives in Cuba.

Read more

From our Bureau of Socialist Respect for Human Rights with some assistance from our Bureau of Colossal Hypocrisy at the United Nations

Castro, Inc. desperately wants to be seen as a benevolent defender of human rights, but at the very same time jails anyone who dares to speak freely, and also breaks the rules for prisons established by the United Nations. Ironically, those rules are named after Nelson Mandela, who was a great admirer of Castro, Inc.

Don’t expect anything to change. The U.N.’s Secretary General is visiting Cuba this week, but it is highly unlikely that he will bring up the issue of abuses such as those described in this new report.

As far as the U.N. is concerned, Cuba not only has carte blanche to abuse prisoners, but deserves to be praised for doing so, and also to be rewarded with a seat on its Human Rights Council.

Read more