As Cubans starve, dictatorship holds international rum cocktail contest, winner from Greece got $10,700 prize

From our Bureau of Socialist Priorities with some assistance from our Bureau of Morally Bankrupt Bartenders

How’s this for social justice? And how’s this for bartending ethics? In a bankrupt country that is currently full of starving people the government invites foreign bartenders to compete for a hefty prize TWENTY times larger than the annual salary of most natives. Yeah. And the bartending dolts from abroad flock to enjoy themselves at the lavish contest. Yet another display of Castro, Inc.’s loathing of the Cuban people, and of foreigners’ enjoyment of their superiority. .

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19,571 Cubans entered U.S. in March, bringing six-month total to 126,517

From our Bureau of Weaponized Migration with some assistance from our Bureau of Countries Without Borders

They keep pouring in, and most of them do so by crossing the southern border of the U.S. illegally. Look at the numbers in the headline above. And then add another 86,000 who have been granted humanitarian paroles. Also take into account that the six-month figure above includes 791 unaccompanied minors. And . . . finally . . . to gain perspective on the six-month figure above consider that the entire population of the city of Matanzas is 127,287 and that of Cienfuegos is 140,734. Castro, Inc.’s weaponized migration program seems to be a great success. So many potential Yo-Yo’s, so many remittance senders! All that is missing from this pathetic tableaux is a new Ministry: El Ministerio de Remesas y Regalos (The Ministry of Remittances and Gifts)

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British tourists offered more opportunities to turn Cuban apartheid dream holidays into nightmares

Hey, what’s wrong with this picture? Find three horrifying ethical transgressions and you get a free trip to Cuba.

From our Annals of Apartheid Tourism Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Suckers For Punishment

Never underestimate the combined power of moral turpitude and sheer stupidity to lure very, very White dolts to vacation destinations that will surely disappoint them in myriad ways, or perhaps cause them irreparable harm. Aaah, yes, Castro, Inc. has managed to lure some dimwitted British tourist agency into arranging new slumming apartheid tour packages to Castrogonia.

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European Union bars representatives of Cuban dictatorship from setting foot in their parliament indefinitely

NO CASTRONOIDS ALLOWED

From our Bureau of Great Moments in Diplomatic History

Wow. As of today, representatives of Castro, Inc. will be barred from entering the chambers of the European Parliament. Surprisingly, this measure was drafted by a Spanish representative and approved by a majority of the parliament’s voting members. This is in essence a retaliation for a recent hissy fit in Havana that led Castro, Inc. to bar a delegation from the EU parliament from visiting Cuba to investigate human rights issues. So, tit for tat: you close your doors to us, we’ll close our doors to you. As wonderful as it is to see this happen, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the EU will stop aiding Castro, Inc. and ensuring its survival. Full story below includes links to documents.

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Cuban dictatorship increases harassment of Ladies in White leader and her husband

Dissidents Angel Moya and Berta Soler

From our Bureau of Social Compassion and Tolerance with some assistance from our Bureau of Incredibly Brave Resistance to Socialist Compassion and Tolerance

Ay, Dios mio! O, my God. Imagine being in the same tight spot as Angel Moya and Berta Soler. Their lives are a constant unending wrestling match with a totalitarian regime Hell-bent on crushing them. The only thing that keeps them from disappearing or being snuffed out is the fact that they have managed to attract international attention. Castro, Inc. can’t kill them or imprison them without protest from human rights organizations. This would make Castro, Inc. look bad. But that’s never been enough of a deterrent for Castro, Inc. Consider what they did to Oswaldo.Payá. They know they can easily get away with murder. This makes the defiance of Angel Moya and Berta Soler so remarkable, so heroic, so incredible, so praiseworthy, so heart-wrenching.

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Death offers no relief from pain in Cuba, but rather more degradation, torture, and grief

Human remains in open pit at Colon cemetery, Havana, February 2024

From our Bureau of Socialist Funerary Finesse with some assistance from our Bureau of Socialist Compassion and Social Justice in the Hereafter and Here-And-Now

Good Lord have mercy. Misere nobis, Domine, Cubani sumus. Dying offers no release from the hellish torments endured by all Cubans, the living as well as the dead. Forget about “closure” when one of your loved ones dies. Castro, Inc. has ensured that all Cubans suffer further indignities at the time of death. Transportation to the cemetery is usually unavailable. Then, good luck guaranteeing a proper burial for the recently departed. Cuban cemeteries are a horror show, where the dead are denied their human dignity. Good Lord have mercy. Señor, tien piedad de nosotros.

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Cuba and Russia sign repressive ‘Cooperation Program’ for protection of Russian investments

Igor and Trucutú, seal a deal, Havana, 16 April 2024

From our very busy Russification of Cuba Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Imperial Safety Nets

Czar Vlad the Invader’s emissary Igor Krasnov –Attorney General of Grand Putinia — has just signed a cooperation agreement with Castro, Inc. that seems to have two main objectives: 1. To increase repression on the island, with Russia’s help; 2. To protect “the rights of entrepreneurs and investors.”

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Cuban priest tells BBC ‘Cuba is dying’

Father Lester Rafael Zayas

From our Bureau of Troublesome Priests

Father Lester Rafael Zayas has dared to speak his mind in a BBC interview. Naturally, much like Father Alberto Reyes of Camaguey, Father Zayas has been placed on Castro, Inc.’s list of enemies. “They consider my homilies dangerous,” says Father Zayas. Showing no fear of reprisals, Father Zayas has also said that “Cuba is dying” and he cannot keep silent about the suffering that Castro, Inc. has caused the Cuban people: “What I say in my homilies is that it is not possible to see the reality here and accept the suffering of the people as normal.” If you are a praying person, please pray for Father Zayas. Castro, Inc. is bound to pounce on any such troublesome priest.

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Castronoid super-spy Rocha says he was ‘radicalized’ while a student at Yale

Shocked, shocked, so shocked! This spy’s lie is exposed by his t-shirt!

From our Poison Ivy League Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Shocking Captain Renault Moments

What a shocking surprise! One of the most successful spies Castro, Inc. has ever recruited is now claiming that his deep love for communist totalitarian dictatorships bloomed while he was a Latin American Studies major at Yale. Yet he’s keeping mum about what happened at Harvard and Georgetown, where he pursued graduate studies. As a Yale alumnus and member of the Yale faculty I can only respond to this piece of news by echoing the words of the immortal Captain Renault in the film Casablanca: “I’m shocked, shocked, to learn that students are turned into communists at Yale! This man is lying: Surely, the real culprit is Harvard!”

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Russia’s Attorney General visits Cuba for ‘bilateral talks’ on suppression of dissent

Attorney General Igor Krasnov

From our Russification of Cuba Bureau

Yet another top dog from Grand Putinia is visiting Castrogonia. This time, it’s Igor Kraznov, who serves as Czar Vlad the Invader’s Attorney General, and is the man in charge of all repression in Grand Putinia. Castro, Inc.’s Ministry of Truth says that Kraznov is in Cuba to “promote and develop bilateral cooperation in legal, juridical, and specialist training issues.” Yeah, you know what that means. So, the Russification of Cuba moves forward at a fast clip.

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Young Cuban father arrested for complaining about constant power blackouts on Facebook

Jailed malcontent

From our Bureau of Socialist Tolerance, Compassion, and Social Justice with some assistance from our Bureau of Crimes That Exist Only in Latrine American Socialist Totalitarian Hellholes

How’s this for social justice in the Marxist dimension so beloved by American leftists? You dare to post a complaint online about the mismanagement of your country’s electrical grid and you end up being arrested at 6:30 am and jailed without bail. Worse yet, you are now facing serious charges that could lead to a 4 to 10 year prison sentence. So, yeah, this is it. No complaining allowed. Remember the new slogan, “Create Your Own Happiness.” Don’t complain, be happy. If you would like to live like this vote for liberal candidates only in November here in the U.S.

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