…an island on the net without a bearded dictator
Carlos Eire 
From our Extinction of the Dinosaurs Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Domino Effects Among Elderly Monsters
Wow. It’s like one of those mesmerizing videos on YouTube that feature falling dominoes. Clackety-Clack, down they go, Castro, Inc.’s lily-white dinosaurs of the Revolution keep falling dead, one after the other. This week alone, three of these dinosaurs kicked the bucket.
From our Russification of Kuba Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Nasty Little Details Normally Hidden From View
This news story is about two months old, but what is revealed in it is likely to shed light on what is still going on in the Russia-Cuba-Ukraine Triangle of Death, Suffering, Exploitation and Wanton Destruction. Among the more significant details revealed is the Ukrainian estimate that 40 % of the Cubans fighting in Ukraine are special forces sent by Castro, Inc’s Ministry of Fear and the other 60% are youths without military training lured to Russia with false promises for the express purpose of serving as cannon fodder.
From our Bureau of Socialist Tolerance, Compassion, and Social Justice with some assistance from our Bureau of Tropical Gulags
Madrid-based NGO Prisoners Defenders has released an update on the many inhumane horrors endured by Castro, Inc.’s political prisoners. Not much has changed since Castro, Inc. began to jail, torture, and execute all of its perceived enemies. It has always been a barbaric and sadistic jailer, totally devoid of compassion. Yet, this very same regime has repeatedly served as a prominent member of the UN’s human rights committee. Lord have mercy.
From our Bureau of Socialist Tolerance, Compassion, and Social Justice with some assistance from our Busy Times at the Ministry of Fear Bureau
Castro, Inc. has had more than it can take from pesky independent journalists who dare to reveal what is really going on in Castrogonia. Three independent news agencies have been hit hard: CubaNet, Periodismo de Barrio, and El Toque, all of which have reporters who have been subjected to arrests, psychological torture, harassment, threats, and also the confiscation of phones and cash. Such a lovely country. Yeah, sure . . . come on down tourists! This utopia needs your support.
From our Frutabomba Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Great Socialist Achievements
No frutabomba for you! Incredibly, a tropical fruit that can be easily grown in Cuba is in short supply and has therefore become very expensive. Only a socialist regime can achieve something like this. Also known as papayas, this tropical fruit will grown just about anywhere, even as a potted plant. We had one in our Havana backyard, which was very small, in a large pot, and it yielded abundant fruit. Lord have mercy.
From our Bureau of Rational Responses to Communist Repression That Are Deemed Irrational by Those Who Have Never Lived in a Communist Totalitarian Hellhole
The Cuban exile who shot up Castro, Inc.’s embassy in Washington DC four and a half years ago will be freed from prison after a judge ruled him insane. Truth be told, although what he did was wrong — insofar as his actions could have led to deaths or injuries — it would seem far from “insane” by most Cubans. His anger is understanble. Sad but true. Our anger and thirst for justice are so intense that many of us share his rage, even if we don’t condone his violence.
From our Bureau of Weekends At Bernie’s, Cuban Style
Castro, Inc. seems somewhat desperate to show the world that their Maximum Leader, King Raul Castro, is still alive and kicking. Why the desperation? Because the military junta that runs Castro, Inc. knows that as long as Raul is alive there is less of a chance for any sort of coup or public demonstrations that could turn into a popular rebellion.
From our Bureau of Conspiracies to Fill the U.S. With Communist Agitators and Spies
I don’t know about you, but I’m about to blow a gasket. What is going on is beyond comprehension. Really, are we expected to believe that all of these communist Castronoids have had conversion experiences? Or that it was difficult for U.S. authorities to uncover their very public and very dirty repressive activities in Castrogonia? Naaah. This has to be a deliberate and very carefully planned infiltration campaign. Who’s responsible? One can only hope that the legislative branch of the U.S. government will find out.
From our Bureau of Excessive Fines Intended to Cripple Businesses with some assistance from our Bureau of Very Flimsy Socialist Camouflage
Castro, Inc. is hell-bent on crushing so-called “private” businesses that were never fully private. Having established price controls — a sure way to cripple any economy — Castro, Inc. is now fining any “private” business that dares to wiggle out of those price controls. What a great way to generate income for itself!
From our Russification of Kuba Bureau with some assistance from our Bureau of Parasitical Latrine American Totalitarian Hellholes
Czar Vlad the Invader is supplying Castro, Inc. with much-needed oil. But will this shipment make much difference, given the magnitude of Castrogonia’s energy crisis? After all, the arrival of one oil tanker anywhere is not usually a news story, unless the place receiving the shipment is on the verge of collapse or over the edge. Welcome to Kuba, where a meager drop of oil becomes headline news.
From our Bureau of Restless Noble Savages with some assistance from our Bureau of Measurable Misery
Cuba’s enslaved population is growing increasingly restless as the misery index continues to intensify. These 855 protests are all relatively small and localized, involving the banging of pots and pans, street protests, traffic blockades, posters, and graffiti against Trucutú Díaz-Canalla, power blackouts, and lack of water. But there is no denying that as this restlessness keeps intensifying, Castro, Inc. will respond with increased repression.
From our Bureau of Socialist Tolerance, Compassion, and Social Justice with some assistance from our Latrine American Triangle of Doom Bureau
Following the Castro, Inc. playbook, Nicaragua’s dictatorship has created a new category of political prisoners who are virtually invisible to the human rights organizations that keep track of them. These “invisible” prisoners confined to their homes have to report to police stations every single day of their lives but aren’t allowed to go anywhere else without first requesting permission three days prior to that outing.