Yes, Big Brother has grown bigger and ever more insanely ridiculous: the Department of Education in New York City has just proposed a list of fifty “forbidden” words or topics that should never, ever be used in standardized tests because they have the potential to offend NYC schoolchildren. And the geniuses at the Department point out add that the list has to be a long one because the wide diversity of the NYC student population increases the risks of offending someone. The list speaks for itself, and for the mentality of those who love to police thought. In this case, the identification of “offensive” subjects seems to be grounded in the holy Trinity of the politically correct socionazis: race, class, and gender. Trauma and religion figure prominently too, though to a lesser extent. Some prominent obsessions are easy to spot: a desire to flatten out everything and everyone, and all emotions too, and to eliminate all peaks and valleys, as well as all fears and joys. This new Index Verborum Prohibitorum will no doubt be championed by all progressives, statists and helicopter parents. Welcome to the zombie utopia of the future, a schizoid paradise where achieving diversity is the ultimate goal and also the ultimate fear.
Among the forbidden words and topics:
Birthday celebrations (and birthdays) — might offend those who can’t have birthday parties or whose birthday falls on a date other than that of the exam being administered
Bodily functions — might offend everyone
Cancer (and other diseases) — might scare and sadden everyone
Catastrophes/disasters (tsunamis and hurricanes) — ditto
Celebrities — might make some or all feel inferior or inadequate
Children dealing with serious issues — total trauma for everyone
Cigarettes (and other smoking paraphernalia) — death sticks should not exist, not even in the vocabulary
Computers in the home (acceptable in a school or library setting) — might offend those without home computers
Crime — might scare those who live in safe neighborhoods and give rise to feelings of inferiority among those who live in dangerous neighborhoods
Death and disease – the ultimate trauma for everyone
Divorce — never mind that it affects over 50% of all families, it’s just too nasty.
Evolution — might offend creationists and muslims
Expensive gifts, vacations, and prizes — might offend the poor and all misanthropes
Poverty — might offend the rich and remind the poor that they actually exist.
Religion — worse than death or disease, the absolutely absolute in offensiveness
Sex — this has been on the list for 5,000 years, nothing new here
Terrorism — might offend terrorists?
Read the whole list here
Carlos, were you reading that list while eating a non trans-fat meal with no salt?
No, George… better than that: I was drinking an unflavored shake made with soy milk and organic bean sprouts, and wearing clothes made of recycled trash bags. And I just went to confession and read to the priest a long list of bad thoughts. Right now I am blotting out all the offensive words from all of my dictionaries.
…and,by the way, how can I fill my icon with an image like your handsome dog? I did it once, but it didn’t work. And I no longer have the instructions. Good thing that dogs are not on the Index of Forbidden Words.
I expect bitch is.
Words I would like to see not allowed on any lists:
PC madness – I get shivers of angst just considering this one.
Peace – more damage has been done in the name of that word than almost any other.
Fair – obviously one of the most dangerous words in the language.
Choice – a most terrifying word. It can remind our children of the many ways Mrs. Obama, Mayor Bloomberg and others are taking our choices away. Keep this awful word out of all children’s tests.(Ha.)
Community organizer – obviously, because it scares the hell out of me and just think what it would to young kids.
Department of Education – this one I want banned from all discourse, tests, and even from existence
CBS, NBC, ABC, MSNBC, NYTimes, and CNN – some of the scariest words in the English language. Ban them so our kids won’t have to deal with seeing them.
Dennis Walcott – because it would sound like Dennis the Menace which is of course what he is to all children everywhere. On second thought, that is an insult to Dennis the Menace.
Carlos, you will be rewarded greatly by Reichsmarschall Bloomberg for your dietary efforts.
Here’s how to add a pic to your name: Go to Gravatar.com and go to the LOG IN/SIGN UP link on the menu. Select SIGN UP. Enter your short Babalu email address and click SIGN UP. They will send you a confirmation link by email. Once you get it, log in to Gravatar and upload a pic you want associated with that email address. You can add many but one will be the default image.
I assume you will not pick a portrait of one of the Borgias as your avatar. Maybe a Medici? 🙂
P.S., that’s not my dog, but I love the pic. Since I don’t have the right to own a pit bull in Miami-Dade County, I’ll have to wait…