From our Bureau of Communist Beauty Pageant Fever with some assistance from our Bureau of Alternative Venues for Cigar Ladies from Socialist Latrine American Totalitarian Hellholes
Cuba left the Miss Universe Pageant in a huff back in 1967, in a fit of communist ideological pique. Well, it seems that pataleta (hissy fit) is now being viewed as a mistake, for there are several indications on Instagram that Castro, Inc. is planning to join the pageant again, after its long 57-year absence. Babalu has a suggestion to make: Please consider entering your cigar ladies, Castro, Inc.
Now that tourists are no longer flocking to the island, these poor beautiful women need another outlet for their many talents. And you can be sure that any Miss Cuba cigar lady is bound to win the talent contest and the swimsuit and native costume competitions, as well as the Miss Congeniality title, and the coveted Miss Universe title itself. Yes! You can bet on it. You have the Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity movement on your side, for sure.
Loosely translated from Periodico Cubano
In early April, a profile for Miss Universe Cuba was introduced on Instagram, indicating a possible return of the island to the international beauty pageant.
The account, which has not yet been verified, remains active sharing content about Cuban women’s participation in the renowned event that honors the world’s most beautiful women.
The profile asserts that the pageant organizers want “Cubans both inside and outside the country to feel their land even more, to respect it, and to preserve it every day; and to identify with the real social causes of the city, of the country, under the standards of freedom and participatory democracy.”
Additionally, they state that the current owner of the competition, Thai national Anne Jakrajutatip, expressed interest in visiting Cuba, thereby leaving the door open for Cuban participation in Miss Universe.
The account has amassed just over 3,000 followers, and each post receives between 30 and 300 comments, mostly from Cubans living in exile expressing nostalgia and longing for this event to take place.
If this information is accurate, the pageant would return to Cuba after 57 years. From its debut in 1952 until 1960, Cuba was represented in Miss Universe. The first Cuban participant was Gladys López in 1952, while the highest-ranking Cuban contestant in the event was María Rosa Gamio Fernández in 1957, who placed as the third runner-up.
Since 1961, when the Cuban government prohibited participation by women residing on the island, Cuban representatives competed under the name Miss Cuba Free, from exile in Miami, until 1967.
In its most recent post, the official Miss Universe Cuba profile on Instagram raises the question of who will assume the role of National Director of the pageant in Cuba, creating anticipation among followers.
No, Carlos. The cigar ladies or aged mammies were never meant to be seen as beautiful, but rather as picturesque, colorful, suitably primitive “typical” Cubans, which would serve as selfie-bait for tourists VERY interested in “content” to post in social media. For Miss Universe they should look to upscale jineteras.
If a Cuban were to win, I hope she defects.